Children’s jokes: 76 funny jokes for children to laugh at

children jokes

One can say that children understand jokes differently, they have a different sense of humor. Because the perception of jokes is related to experience and knowledge. Children, especially small ones, don’t have that yet. That is, they cannot understand adult jokes. That is why many jokes have been written for children that are easy to understand like fairy tales and are often animals or fairytale creatures. The school is also a very interesting and mostly discussed topic for jokes. There are so many funny situations that they create the basis for jokes. And the kids who spend almost all of the day there and all of which seems familiar to them like such jokes. Two topics for children’s jokes are first relationships between the children themselves and other relationships in the family, between parents and children and between siblings.

Good and short children’s jokes to laugh at

It is easier to draw children’s attention. You just have to do something extraordinary. That means jokes must have something in them. The catch is, jokes are written by adults. You have to put yourself in the child’s seat to find out what they like and what they could understand.

  • Fritzchen goes for a walk with his grandma and suddenly sees a toy car on the sidewalk. When he is about to pick it up, Grandma says: "No, Fritzchen, what is on the floor is not to be picked up." Then they go on and Fritzchen sees a 2 euro coin lying on the floor. When he is about to reach for it, Grandma says: "No, Fritzchen, what is lying on the floor is not to be picked up." Suddenly Grandma slips and falls. They ask Fritzchen to help her up. Then Fritzchen: "No grandma, what lies on the floor, you do not pick up."
  • Paul knocks on the door of the neighbor: "Mother has asked if we could have your scissors." – "Of course. Don’t you have any? »-« Yes, but we don’t want to use them to open cans. »
  • Guest complains: "In the past, the portions here were much larger than today!"
    Soothing: "You only mean that, sir! We just enlarged the bar in the meantime! ”
  • What happens if you throw a purple shirt into the red sea? : ’It’s getting wet.’
  • "My little brother is baptized on Wednesday." – "Wednesday?
    Stupid name! "
  • All children visit lions in the zoo, except Jutta, which is food.
  • Why do bees hum? Because they don’t know the text.
  • Teacher: "Thomas, why are you always so dirty ?!" Thomas: "Well, I’m much closer to the ground than you!"
  • Tom comes home crying. "What happened?" Asked the mother worriedly. “In kindergarten everyone knew that the stork brings babies. Only I noticed your stupid story of man and woman and the special hug. ”
  • Child, where’s your testimony? – With my friend Heiko. – Why? – He wanted to scare his parents.
  • In the evening, the woodworm mother calls out to her children: "Hush, hurry to the board!"
  • Mother: "Petra, would you prefer a little brother or sister?"
    Petra: "Oh, if it’s not too difficult for you, mom, I would like to have a pony."
  • For decades all parents have been telling their children: "Eat your plates empty, then the weather will be good!"
    And what do we get from it?
    Fat kids and global warming!

Funny jokes about kids

The funniest jokes to laugh about are where we recognize ourselves. At that moment we realize that this is exactly what we are doing or thinking. And when you see that there are people who feel the same way, you create a sense of belonging. We are aware that there are others who have exactly the same feelings or thoughts.

  • "I think Sven doesn’t trust us."
    "How did you get it?"
    "He created a number account in Switzerland for his five marks in pocket money!"
  • "I think my mother doesn’t understand children," says Marie.
    "How do you get that?" Asks Aunt Emma.
    "When I’m awake, she sends me to bed, and when I’m tired, she wakes me up."
  • Fritzchen asks his father if he can go to a 50-cent concert.
    Fritzchen’s father says: I give the 1 €, then you can take your sister with you.
  • At lunch, Erna says to her mother: "Now I chewed the carrots exactly 18 times, mom!" "That’s very good," says the mother. Erna pulls a face and then asks tearfully: "And what should I do with it now?" ? "
  • "Why are you crying, little one?" – "Because no car is coming." – "So what?" – "We learned in school that you can only cross the street when the car is over!"
  • "Fritzchen, what is your favorite animal?"
    "Pork … dead, chopped, breaded, with fries and ketchup!"
  • A little boy was out of school for two days. On the third day, he apologizes to his teacher: “I hereby apologize for my son’s absence from school. He was very sick. Sincerely, my mother "
  • Nadja lies in bed the day before her birthday and reads. Her mother comes into the room and says strictly: "I’m going to turn off the light now, you have to sleep!" I need to know who gets the princess. The book says for children between 8 and 10. Tomorrow I’m 11! "
  • Teacher for the class: "Everyone who thinks he’s stupid, please get up." – Fritzchen is the only one who gets up. – Teacher: "Fritzchen, why did you get up, do you think you are stupid?" – Fritzchen: "No, but I didn’t want to leave you there alone."
  • A grandma shows the ticket to the bus driver. "That’s a child’s ticket, my lady!" The bus driver says.
    The lady says: "You can see how long I have been waiting for this bus!"
  • Meier rushes into a household goods store: «Quickly a mouse trap! I still have to catch the bus! »
    Seller: «I’m doing it >School jokes for children

The best children’s jokes in the world are connected to everyday life. And what kind of everyday life do the children have? School. They spend a lot of time there, learn a lot of new things and chat or play with their peers.

  • What is the difference between a chemist and a midwife? The chemist says H2O and the midwife OH2.
  • Mom: "And Patrick, how was it in school?" Patrick: "Really great; we made explosives! "Mom:" You do really great things. And what is your morning doing at school? ”Patrick:“ Which school? ”
  • Teacher: "If you know tomorrow where the babies are coming from, you can go home earlier." Paul asks his grandmother at home, who explains: "Babies come from the apple tree!" The next morning Paul puts an apple in his pocket. When the teacher asked, he put his hand in his pocket and asked: "Should I get him out?" "No, but you can go …"
  • The mother scolds: "If you continue to behave like this, we will put you in a boarding school so that you can learn good manners."
    The son says: "Can’t I learn them at home?"
  • Teacher: "What is your father?" Student: "Sick." Teacher: "I want to know what he’s doing." Student: "He coughs." Teacher: "But no! What does he do when he is healthy? ”Student:“ He doesn’t cough! ”
  • Teacher: "Tim, give me the senses that you know."
    Tim replies: "Nonsense, nonsense and nonsense!"
  • A teacher catches a student sleeping in class: I don’t think this is the right place to sleep. The student replies: This is fine if they could only speak a little quieter.
  • Teacher: Fritzchen, your spelling is so bad.
    Fritzchen replies: The spelling doesn’t apply to me, I’m left-handed.
  • At school, the teacher asks: "What is more liquid than water." Then a student: "Homework is superfluous".
  • ‘Here, stop that.’ ‘What is that?’ ‘Distance!’
  • The teacher shows two eggs. One egg is brown and the other white.
    The teacher asks the students: What do you notice?
    One student replies: The brown egg was probably on vacation.
  • What is the difference between school and a madhouse? – The telephone number.
  • The school class was photographed together with their teacher. The teacher recommends that his students get prints.
    "Imagine how nice it is when you take the picture back in your hand after thirty years and say: Oh, that’s Paul, he’s now a teacher too; and that’s Fritz Lehmann, he has become a baker; and there is Heiner, who emigrated to America … "
    A voice sounds from the last row: "And that was our teacher, he’s been dead for a long time!"

The best children’s jokes for primary school

The children’s jokes can not only contain something funny, but also something educational. It is more difficult, but you can also teach the children a lot in this way. Because it has already been proven that children learn a lot when playing, most importantly, they don’t have to get bored.

  • Mike comes to school excited and too late: "I’ve been attacked by robbers!"
    "And what was stolen from you?" The teacher wants to know.
    "Thank goodness only homework!"
  • Little Thomas on the bike: "Mommy, Mommy look, I can ride a bike with just one hand." A short time later: "Mommy, Mommy look, I can ride a bike without hands." A short time later: "Mommy, Mommy look, I can ride my bike without hands and legs. "A little later:" Mommy, mommy look, without teeth. "
  • A boy helps an old nun across the street.
    You: "Thank you very much, little one."
    He: "No problem. Batman’s friends are my friends too. "
  • Teacher: "Which country are you from?"
    Student: "Czechoslovakia."
    Teacher: "Spell that out for us."
    Pupil: "I actually think I’m from Hungary!"
  • Sepp is riding his bike, it is almost dark. A police officer stops him. "What’s your name?"
    "Josef Schlickermeyer" answers Seppi coolly.
    "And your age?" Asks the policeman.
    "Schlickermeyer too."
  • "What happens to the little girls who don’t eat their pasta?" "They stay slim and become Germany’s next top model, mom!"
  • What does a snail say on the back of a turtle? – Uiiiiii
  • Uli and Monika gargle. Uli explains: "I’m throwing the coin up now. With heads I win, with numbers you lose! "
  • "What’s your new dog’s name?" – "I don’t know, he doesn’t want to say it."
  • Fritz asks the teacher: "Can you actually be punished if you haven’t done anything?"
    "Of course not!" Replies the latter.
    "Great," says Fritz, "because I didn’t do my homework!"
  • Fritzchen is late for school. Then the teacher asks: "Sorry !?" Fritzchen: "Oh, it’s okay!"
  • "Why is your little brother crying like that?" – "Today there was
    Easter vacation, and he didn’t get any. "-" But why that
    because? "-" Because he doesn’t go to school yet! "
  • Two boys stand in front of the registry office and look at an interested couple with interest. "Listen," says one, "do we want to scare them?"
    "Yes," says the other, runs towards the groom and shouts: "Hello, dad!"

Funny children’s jokes for 5 year olds

The younger the children are, the more difficult it is to tell them something using the word. You don’t understand everything at this age, let alone jokes that are a little bit complicated.

  • Two cows meet. Says one: "Muh." Says the other: "I want to say right now."
  • What do you call a bear that screams “BALL”? Ball screaming Bear!
  • Mom, how long have you been married to Daddy? "
    "Ten years, my child!"
    "And how long do you have to. "
  • Fritzchen says about his bowl of jelly:
    You don’t have to tremble like that, I still eat you.
  • A father: "Where do cats live?"
    A son: "In the Miezhaus!"
  • "Mr. waiter, there are no cherries in the cherry pie!"
    “Yes it is clear! There are no dogs in a dog biscuit! "
  • 2 toothpicks are walking in the forest. Suddenly a hedgehog comes by. One toothpick says to the other: "I didn’t even know that a bus was driving here".
  • The uncle answers my nephew’s letter. "Here you get your desired 10 euros. But practice your spelling, you don’t write ten with two zeros! "
  • Mommy, why is the sky so high? – Mommy answers: So that the birds don’t hit their heads
  • "Mom, please give me a mark for the poor old man!"
    "Here you have a mark. You have a good heart. Where’s the man at? "
    "On the corner and sells ice cream."
  • "When I was in Alaska at the time, I was attacked by 12 wolves," says Fritzchen Grandpa. Then Fritzchen: "Last year there were three!"
    "Yes, you were too small to learn the whole truth!"
  • A cat and a mouse come into a bakery.
    Mouse: "I would like a piece of plum cake with cream."
    "And she?" The saleswoman asks the cat.
    "I just want a dollop of cream on the mouse."
  • Karl: "Would you please put a new bell on me?"
    Bicycle mechanic: "You’re welcome! But the brakes are also out of order! "
    Karl: "I know! That’s why I need the new bell! "

Jokes for kindergarten kids

Jokes for toddlers are similar to fairy tales: simple, entertaining and fun. You just have to find out what the child likes and go in the direction. Because some find something funny and some don’t.

  • Two balloons fly over the desert. Suddenly someone shouts: "Attention cactus!"
    The other one says: “Do nothingssssssssssssssssssss. "
  • Two friends watch football: "A good game," says one, "only the goals are missing!"
    "Why, there are two!"
  • "Why are you throwing stones at the boy over there?"
    "Mustn’t go any closer. He has whooping cough!
  • Father and son go on a bike tour. The dad sees the son running over a bee. The father is immediately effective as an educator and opens up to the son man: “You have just run over a bee, a living being. From now on you can no longer eat honey for three weeks. ”While the father speaks these words, he runs over a small bird himself. Then the son: "Do I have to say that to my mother, or do you do it yourself? …"
  • A mother: "How do all oceans greet each other?"
    A daughter: "You wave!"
  • A little girl walked along the beach with three large ice cream cones in her hand. Just when she got to the parents, one slipped out of her hand and fell into the sand.
    "What a pity," she said sadly, "now I’ve dropped your ice cream, dad!"
  • "Why can’t fish actually speak, Mommy?" – "Funny question, speak to me when your head is under water!"
  • "Why are you standing at the escalator for so long?" Wants one
    Lady of Fritzchen know. "I have mine on the way
    Gum lost – I’m waiting for that now. "
  • The mother is angry: “I don’t want to hear two expressions anymore my son. One is "stupid" and the other "sucks"
    "Mummy deal and what are the words?"
  • What is green, happy and jumping over the grass? A fright!
  • Clara caresses her grandmother’s cat. Then the cat begins to purr. Startled, Clara calls: "Where’s the engine shutdown button?"
  • The proud father brags over coffee how great his one-year-old son can speak.
    "Babe, say ‘rhinoceros!’
    The little boy comes crawling to the table, pulls himself up at the edge of the table, looks skeptically around and asks: "To whom?"

Funny jokes with pictures for children from 6

There are also jokes for toddlers and the topics stay the same. This also works well with the pictures, because it will be easier for them to perceive and understand the whole picture.

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