In this context we mention the possibility of change model in case of separation and divorce. Under certain circumstances, this can best correspond to the child’s best interests. However, the switch model requires a basic communication and cooperation ability of the parents and then expands the child’s well-being if there are secure ties and sustainable relationships with both parents.
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What does the Sche mean >Divorce is a process that begins long before the actual separation and that is gradually starting to roll. The separation is often preceded by a long conflict between the spouses. The first 2 years after the divorce is called a crisis period designated. For the children, the crisis begins with shock, fear, and anger when they learn that their parents’ marriage / relationship has broken.
In this critical time, children have two very specific needs: First, they are increasingly asking for emotional support as they try to adapt to the totally different circumstances of life. Second, they rely on a reasonably reliable daily routine. Unfortunately, the parents themselves have too many problems and fears at this time to help their children properly. It is very difficult for a child to understand or even accept that one day his father or mother moves out of the shared apartment and leaves it – at least that’s how the child experiences it.
The foundation of the family from children’s eyes
Like death, the end of a marriage, a separation of parents, triggers a multitude of feelings in children: shock, loss, fear, helplessness, anger, anger, sadness. It often takes a long time before they can finally accept the new situation. A child feels long before the parents finally separate that something is wrong. When a parent finally moves out, the child is often torn into a whirlpool, reacts confused, dismayed and fearful.
His deep security, which was based on living with both parents, has been shaken. Being separated from a parent hurts and infuses every child. Due to the separation of the parents and thus at least the spatial separation from one parent, the child experiences a severe loss, the finality of which even his parents often do not want to recognize or admit. By doing so, they deprive your child of the opportunity to grieve openly and thus the chance of healing soon. And as if sadness, pain and anger about the separation weren’t hard enough to bear, children often blame themselves for the separation.
Problem of Sche >The relationship between children and both parents can change dramatically after the divorce. Divorced children have spent an important part of their lives in a family crisis. Divorced children often feel cut off from family history, sometimes they lose an entire family branch when their parents separate. There is a tendency to blame themselves for the existence of their problems of parent separation. As expected, acute (short-term) divorce effects such as anger, anger, confusion, etc. will appear and will also subside over time. The chronic (long-term) consequences such. Inferiority complexes, mistrust of others, fear of responsibility, etc., can rest for a long time and emerge seriously after years. The injuries experienced in the separation and divorce process are then often updated.
Assistance in the separation process
A good relationship with both parents helps to ensure that many chronic consequences for children in the context of separation of the parents occur and shape them throughout life. These are frequent visits and phone calls to the parent where the child is not centered.
- The better the parents deal with their conflicts and keep them at the couple level, the better the children will adapt to the new situation.
- The less children the conflict between be >
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