Experience with a children's home for difficult to educate children, yahoo clever

My partner’s son has been living in a children’s home since 09/2007.

Strange measures have been taken there and the boy is becoming increasingly alienated from the family.

He is there because of highly aggressive behavior and the home resists that we, among other things, to a psy. go etc. He is rapidly regressing there, intelligence and manners are no longer there. He does not have to go to school if he is tired in the morning, is allowed to watch long TV etc.

We cannot bring him home because he (13) has had the problem with his anger etc. since he was 4 years old.

We would like to move him to another home, but the youth welfare office does not play a role.

Who has experience with it:

Which institution checks homes?

What options do you have to take the boy out of there and choose a different home?

Note: We are a normal family, go about our work, row house, car, TV and PC, excursions, sometimes just messing around. No addictions etc.

Please only experience tips and no silly posts. It is a serious problem.

He has been in the psy several times, including in Hamm.

We suspect that he is being manipulated in the home. "You don’t go back", "We take care that you get your PC here" and put pressure on us. The boy is addicted to PC! (WOW and other first person shooter games).

The home is somehow connected to a possible hospital. Otherwise I would think Scientology. We are not noticed by the supervisors because we question too much. We: My partner and I, the body. Mother and her partner.

At first the home demanded that we all get on well and now that we four adults can do it and perform together there, sentences like: It’s lucky that there aren’t four of you here today.

(if only one couple appears there once)

Thanks for the answers.

My email is: [email protected]

I would the former home manager and the social. Ask educators to contact me.

I also thank the others very much.

Ps. The people from the home were also here. Everything is in the normal range.

And the home knows:

The birth was difficult, even the pregnancy. No heartbeat and the mother had been depressed for months and the father took care of it. He is connected with his umbilical cord to his father.

That tells me as a layperson and also the birth mother that his behavior is because of it.

He hates women, etc.

10:41 am, unfortunately I have to go.

8 answers

My admittedly little experience (I am at the end of my studies and have got to know both home institutions and youth welfare – home education through three-month internships):

Most homes want the best for "your" children.

The caregivers assume that the problems that the child has and the abnormalities that it shows are caused by life in the family of origin.

That is well meant and sometimes true.

But not always.

Unfortunately, this is often not recognized with all the good wishes and the pedagogical concepts a la "pick up the child where it is".

Parents have to remain persistent even when it’s tough.

And if it doesn’t work at all, then urge you to choose another facility.

"Which institution checks homes?"

The State Youth Welfare Office is responsible for the supervision of youth welfare institutions. It usually delegates this task to the district youth welfare offices.

"What options do you have to take the boy out of there and choose a different home?"

§ 5 SGB XIII right of choice and choice

(1) The beneficiaries have the right to choose between facilities and services of different providers and to express wishes regarding the organization of the aid. You must be informed of this right.

(2) The choice and wishes should be met unless this is associated with disproportionate additional costs.

Informs the youth welfare office of this paragraph. Name them the youth welfare facility you want to bring your son to.

If the employees do not respond, the lawyer threatens. Most of the time it works. If not, make the threat. At the latest with the first letter from the lawyer, the office usually bends (just as experienced in the last internship!).

So we have it all through some homes are really not to be recommended, the youth welfare office can forget the go to the Awo in the family care who helped us at the time. Changing home, the mediation between you and the youth welfare office, moreover, they get an idea of your son.

I used to be a social worker. worked.

It would be possible that in the home always with the measure "isolation" work from the family because they (arrogantly) assume that the family is not good for the boy because he has developed in this family. Sometimes that’s the view of the socialists there.

Stupidly, it is basically the youth welfare offices that check the homes, as far as I know.

Please do not be afraid to enforce your legal claims, provided that you still have custody of your son.

(That is, you can first object to the decisions of the youth welfare office.)

If this is of no use, you can complain to the family court (against the Home placement, or for

the change of home).

It is best to consult a legal advisor (lawyer). If there is not so much money, there is the possibility of legal aid and later legal aid, then the costs are borne by the state.

Perhaps it would be advisable to start with the free legal advice centers in the town hall, e.g. outside to experience.

The youth welfare office often acts with such arbitrariness, you don’t have to put up with it!

I wish you much success-

Who has custody. Who has the right of residence.

As long as these rights are with you, you decide where your son lives.

From experience you have to be very strong at the youth welfare office. You will probably be threatened that if you oppose the measures of the YES, you will no longer receive (financial) support.

So far for "legal".

My advice: Try to speak to the head of education at the home, let me explain what the measures are for.

I have already done a month-long internship in a home for sek (difficult to produce children). It is in mariuenberg near Aachen They didn’t mess and the parents allow the newcomers not to go home for the first 3 weekends but it’s great because they have their own room and baddie cooking together and I think they have 2 3 or 4 hours of free time as said have not made a crap but it’s totally ok so talk about love greetings and good luck By Schnimu

hello I myself experienced how it can be with one "stubborn" growing up boys who just notice his behavior honor my brother was like this for years until we finally the right thing for him today I have to say anch 6 ay long-term therapy and the Community aid from ALLEN (related well-known friends, doctor, psychologist) did not bring the result until he was initially in ulm in a clinic, so to speak, he was pumped up with tablets that were gradually dipped into atrabben (e.g. tiktak) and then he was good 5 years in a home in heudorf (sant josef school is next door) because the kids live in greetings, have to participate in everyday life, do the laundry and have rules, they are not observed, there are bans as you should not on the next trip with or on home driving ban so that the one stays at home over the weekend while others are allowed to go home that sounds nice but it is not that the educators are all really nice so I can only recommend it I know what my brother was like and am glad that he is has ended

I am an educator by profession and, according to your descriptions, I do not fully understand why the youth welfare office does nothing. If it is an urban institution it is definitely responsible and also for church institutions.

If it gets worse I would go to a lawyer.

(We used to have something like this in the family on a nursing station in a nursing home – care and help often dull from the narrow perspective of the employees!)

Calling a lawyer would be the safest and easiest way. And maybe he’s so aggressive because he thinks he’ll be deported by you.

And if you have custody and the right of residence, then you can decide where he goes and stays.

I can recommend the Heithofer Allee Psyhatrie in Hamm Westfahlen, with the reference to family connection. Since he would come into a normal family with at most two other children, with regular family contact, so to you !! And I think that’s really important that he realizes that you are behind him in spite of everything.

Feel free to email me and I will give you the exact address.

Experience with a children’s home for difficult to educate children, yahoo clever

8 answers

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