Help after miscarriage – stillbirth berlin: support and therapy

I am happy to offer you escort and Help after miscarriage or stillbirth on, so that you can cope with the heavy loss more easily and not be left alone with it. Especially if you plan to get pregnant again: It is important to say goodbye to the deceased embryo / child so that you can find out more about a later one follow pregnancy can look forward to. The studies confirm that processing the loss has a positive effect on the subsequent pregnancy and greatly reduces the fear of a new miscarriage.

Psychological problems after a miscarriage or after a stillbirth

How can you tell if you psychological help after a miscarriage need?
For some women, miscarriage can be like a traumatic experience and mental problems entail. They could no longer control anything in the situation and felt very helpless and powerless. The eventual scraping out can sometimes become a second nightmare.
I recommend you, psychological help after miscarriage or stillbirth to be used if:

  1. You feel that you cannot afford your grief and other feelings.
  2. Do not dare alone to allow these feelings or have no time / space for them.
  3. Some of the following Recognize descriptions:
  1. The sight of pregnant women is difficult to bear.
  2. After 1 to 2 months, you will still cry when you talk about or think about it.
  3. You’d rather forget everything that happened because the thoughts about it are too painful.
  4. You feel desperate and have less and less strength for your everyday life.
  5. You rate the loss as your own failure.
  6. They get stuck in anger or guilt.
  7. You no longer recognize yourself because you are very sensitive and more aggressive than usual.
  8. They feel lonely with the grief and sleep poorly, or even have panic attacks.
  9. There are physical complaints, but the doctor cannot find anything organic.
  10. Since then, they have had problems with the spine
  11. They tend to want to numb themselves through restlessness, a lot of work, a lot of food, alcohol, a lot of distractions.
  12. Your weight has changed since then: up or down.

What methods do I use for psychological help after miscarriage and stillbirth?

There are now proven methods in the field of trauma therapy that strongly support the processing of emotions.

When I have one with a client Process miscarriage or stillbirth, I use several modern methods in addition to conversations: wingwave® or EMDR, brainspotting and inner images, which are at the Coping with feelings have proven. You come from the field of trauma therapy.
They are effective because a bereavement cannot be processed through the mind, but rather through the feelings. And this is exactly the advantage of these methods: Not the logic, but the emotional center (the limbic system) comes to the aid. I bring her limbic system and your brain stem is in a processing state. Most of the time during the session you notice how the feelings and their intensity change positively. If you want to know more about the methods that I use, you can find further information under the menu item "Methods and fees". These methods also have the advantage that you can also use them between sessions and thus experience difficult situations better.

Experience in my practice over the past 11 years has shown that a Process miscarriage can last between 2-10 hours on average, depending on which connection you have already felt with the child and how dramatic the loss has been. With a stillbirth it can take a little longer (12-14 hours), again it depends on the circumstances.
My clients define the rhythm of the collaboration themselves, I recommend working in two-hour sessions.

Process of my psychological help after miscarriage and stillbirth in Berlin:

  • Session 1: You tell me how and what exactly happened and define which situations are particularly painful for you. I explain the methods and the phases and we decide />
  • Session 2: We kick off, Process the painful memories with EMDR or brainspotting depending on the strength of your stress. Most of the time this is a great relief because the client immediately notices that it helps her.
  • From session 3: The grief processing begins and with it the establishment of a positive connection to the unborn child.

The prerequisites that you should bring to process the loss with me are:

  • the willingness to deal with your feelings,
  • They did not have severe depression right before the loss,
  • You have not previously suffered from pathologically poor self-esteem.

Purpose of processing a miscarriage or stillbirth

Grief is not a disease, but a normal response to a loss that helps us either to grasp the inexplicable or to leave it as inexplicable. It helps us to cope with and accept the incomprehensible. Handling a miscarriage or a stillbirth means helping you to allow all feelings to occur at your own pace. The point is that we go together in a protected space to gradually give the inconceivable a place in life. It’s about letting the bad experiences and the memories and feelings come to rest. The memories are emotionally discharged, so you will still be stable when you think about them again.
It is important not to persist in the question "Why did it happen to me?" Because often there is no answer to the "why" and it keeps you in the past. My clients often discover for themselves that this event has had a lasting positive change in their lives: be it values, priorities in life, friends or the increased contact with their self-esteem or self-love. No matter what you integrate: It is as if your child is leaving lasting traces in your life and will therefore always be present in your life. Some very important people only need a few weeks to have a lasting positive impact on other people’s lives: your child has certainly done that for you. I would be happy to help you find out what traces your case is about. This is usually a great comfort for them orphaned parents.

What helps the psyche after a stillbirth or miscarriage: ritual to say goodbye to the star child

I have been a mourning companion in my more than ten years of work Farewell ritual from the star child Developed. I keep seeing how well it helps my clients’ psyche to deal with the loss of their unborn child. The ritual consists of 5 phases, which usually respond well to the mothers. We decide together which part of this process is helpful for your grief process. It depends on how and when you lost your baby.

What goals can that Farewell ritual from your star child can be achieved:

  • The situations with the Miscarriage or stillbirth connected (at the gynecologist, in the hospital, with partner / family) are processed in such a way that you no longer need to suppress them. That when you think about it again, it’s sad, but you feel enough emotional stability. This usually gives my clients a lot of strength and the perceived heaviness decreases.
  • You have a strong, warm established inner connection to your child, in the You feel more love than grief. Nobody can take this connection away from you. You know how to handle the anniversaries well and you feel the inner permission to get pregnant again.
  • You no longer feel like a victim of fate. You make peace with the miscarriage even if you don’t understand why it happened to you. From this you draw new knowledge for your life. Some values ​​change after such an event.
  • You are with yours The uterus is reconciled (if it wasn’t so). With your child in your heart, you feel more strength to look forward again. It has a place in your heart and in your family and keeps it. You can try again, a new child.

Psychological help after a miscarriage prepares you for the subsequent pregnancy

Doctors recommend waiting at least 3 months before trying to get pregnant again. In these 3 months it is very helpful to get one psychological help after miscarriage or stillbirth to get aside. If you call in my support, we can tackle the grieving process together and process the loss. The 3 months are important for the uterus, the balance of your hormones and for your psyche. But it is also very important for the next child so that it does not become a "replacement child".

Many of my clients who because of one Help after miscarriage or stillbirth came to me, were very afraid to get pregnant again. "It could just as easily happen again because we don’t know why." This Fear of a subsequent pregnancy is normal after the loss. But it changes when you have emotionally processed the loss. The experiences and the deceased baby have found a place and are integrated. It happened once, but it doesn’t have to happen again. Every pregnancy is different and can end in a happy birth. After Processing the miscarriage my clients didn’t have any mental problems more, they were much less afraid of getting pregnant again, but more confident. Some told me at the last session that they were pregnant again and can be happy about it.

Different ways of mourning for men and women

I often have a conversation with the orphaned couple first when the women mention that there have been difficulties communicating with their partner since the unborn child was lost. Men mourn differently than women. But everyone has a tendency to give others what helps them. This does not make sense here when coping with grief. In the conversation with three of us we explain the different ways of mourning and eliminate the wrong interpretations that stand between man and woman. Men learn how to support their wife and women how to best support their husband. This brings some relaxation into the situation, since everyone understands the other in his grief and his needs better and can therefore respond better to his partner.

Unfulfilled desire to have children and miscarriage

If you have become pregnant with the child you have lost through fertility treatment, I recommend that you process the loss before trying again. Fertility treatment costs a lot of strength and you need it even more to be ready for the next attempt after a miscarriage.
Even women who have become pregnant are afraid that they will never get pregnant again after miscarriage or stillbirth. In a woman who can only get pregnant with the help of an artificial insemination such as ICSI or IVF, I found in my clients that the fear was even greater and the grief more intense. It should also be borne in mind that any ICSI or IVF attempt that does not result in pregnancy will reactivate the previous losses. It means the following: If previous losses have not been emotionally processed, the intensity of disappointment after an ICSI or IVF without a positive pregnancy test may feel worse from time to time and lead to depressive states. Please pay close attention himself and take your time between attempts to become completely stable again.

Accompanying before leaving, scraping out or breastfeeding

You became pregnant and looked forward to your child. But unfortunately you have one within the first trimester miscarriage suffered. Your unborn baby suddenly stopped developing or the heart suddenly stopped beating. Pregnancy that ends in miscarriage is a nightmare for every mother!
Most abortions (sometimes too missed abortion if the embryo remains in the uterus) take place between the 6th and 12th week of pregnancy. Such miscarriage occurs in about 25% of pregnancies. The causes of this are unfortunately only rarely known.
If you have already seen the embryo using ultrasound and could recognize its heartbeat, a special connection has been established between you and the child of your choice at the latest.
The bad news from the gynecologist must have felt like the end of the world for you. They are filled with emptiness, fainting and sadness. Stunnedness spreads. "How can that be so suddenly? Did I do something wrong? ”You may ask. But the answer is: No, most of the time, as an expectant mother, you have not made a mistake.

Missed abortion or finish?

A missed abortion is more likely to be determined by the gynecologist. Sometimes the loss happens even more suddenly than described above.

You are on the move or at home, are bleeding profusely and lose the embryo. Many even experience the abortion on the toilet and are faced with the fact that their unborn child is goner a non-binding preliminary discussion![/ button] to have to rinse. Such a leaving is traumatic for many.

It is all the more important to process such experiences. For many women, the shock is very deep. Or you have an image in your mind’s eye that is very stressful. You alone cannot get rid of this picture; suppressing it takes a lot of strength and exhaustion. With my grief counseling, this is an important topic that often has to be dealt with. Then we give the child a good place inside.

Preparation for the scraping

At a missed abortion it may happen that excavation work becomes necessary. Take your time until curettage. Allow yourself to make the decision whether you want curettage immediately or whether you want to give your body and soul time until the embryo goes away on its own. You can use this waiting time to say goodbye to your child. If you want, I can advise you on how to say goodbye to your beloved star child, who is still in your stomach, and let go of it. That is a very good psychological one Preparation for scraping, it can also support a natural finish and is an important first step to Processing a miscarriage.

The stillbirth

"I had to give birth to my dead child. It was so terribly quiet ”.

You carried your child for several months and built a good bond with him, and suddenly the inexplicable happens: he doesn’t move anymore. The heart no longer beats. It hits them like a bolt from the blue and it hurts like hell. Suddenly the world stops for you. You feel like in a bubble, all alone or as a couple. You are amazed that the world continues to spin around without you being able to participate. You feel like you are thrown out of the world! They are empty and completely horrified.

Then your gynecologist will also tell you that you are yours give birth to dead child must: A so-called still birth. The thought of giving birth to a child is a nightmare for all mothers.
But it is also an opportunity: you can see your child, admire it and start the grieving process with a first step. Many hospitals support the affected couples in the process of parting and enable them to see the baby whenever they want. Some even have free clothes that volunteers sewed / embroidered. Volunteer photographers also offer to take souvenir photos so they can remember their baby well (see below).

The Processing a stillbirth usually takes a little longer. You have been in contact with your child for much longer, and the larger hormone switch will certainly confuse you even more. I also strongly recommend you there Help after stillbirth To take advantage of: I empathize you through the phases of coping with grief. I take you by the hand to allow and process all the feelings in a protected room step by step.

Say goodbye to your star child before the silent birth

Take your time until breast-feed Birth. Allow yourself to make the decision when your body and soul are ready to let your baby go physically. You can use this waiting time to say goodbye to your baby internally. If you want, I can advise you on how to say goodbye to your beloved unborn child. This is a very good psychological help as preparation for the still birth and an important first step for a successful grief process.

Experience the quiet birth consciously

Experiencing the still birth consciously is a help for them Processing a stillbirth.
Affected mothers report that a still birth – without a caesarean section – helped them Death of her baby / Fetus’ to grasp and process better. A natural birth has the advantage that you can get out of the "feeling of emptiness" or out of shock due to the birth pain. At birth you experience intensive contact with your child. Experience has shown that you Cope with stillbirth better if you first received your child with full awareness, held it in your arms and looked at it.

It is recommended – if you can – to have photos or footprints taken. So you have valuable traces that remind you of your child’s existence. Please use all of these options. You are good Help after stillbirth . It can also be helpful to get pastoral care in the hospital.
Get sick leave to take time to cope with the miscarriage or stillbirth. Pushing away and being distracted does not make the pain go away, but "pushes" it even more into your body and your psyche. This can have a negative impact on your health or stop the grieving process.

Get to know your bereavement companion personally for psychological help after miscarriage or stillbirth in Berlin

I am happy to accompany you with a lot of emotional care, empathy and competence after the loss of your child or children. Take advantage of the opportunity of a 30-minute free preliminary telephone call! Call me. My phone number: 030 – 45 49 45 44 or 0173-6132850. I look forward to meeting you! Or write me an email: [email protected]

Would you like to get to know me personally? For a one-off contribution of 20 euros, we can also conduct the introductory discussion (30 minutes) under my own eyes in my practice for advice on wanting children in Berlin. You can see my prices under fees.

For non-Berliners, I offer the possibility of therapy on the weekend. We usually do about 2-3 hours on Friday evenings, Saturdays and Sundays, depending on what the preliminary discussion shows. You are welcome to do so use my practice as a place to sleep (15 euros / night).


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Christina Cherry
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