I need your advice.
I have been happy with my partner for over 4 years. I want so much to have children with him. We have also talked about it the topic Children get entertained and then he said that he wants to have children but not yet (we are both 25). He would like to enjoy life, party, go on vacation etc.
But I don’t want to have 30 children first. Even if it sounds stupid at 25, but mine "biological clock is ticking", I hope you know how it is meant. I am also the quieter type, I like to sit in the pub and drink a beer or two, but I can let it go (for the child).
Now I need your help, I don’t know how to do it to make him understand that. If it were up to me, I would have had the child yesterday. I don’t want to press him either.
His arguments are:
– Children cost money
– You need time for them
– If you have children you can no longer do what you want
Please help me! Maybe you have ideas.
Thank you for your serious answers!
P.S. We have been living together for over 2 years and both have a job.
Thank you for your answers.
It’s pretty hard to do that "accept".
Then I have to start talking to him to tell him how important it is to me. Don’t know yet how to start with it (not that I can’t talk to him, but it’s a big topic and then you should find the right words), but I can do it.
from "foist" I don’t think anything of myself. I love my partner and I don’t want to lose him because of something like that and then stand alone with the child. Children have a right to mother and father.
Leave the discussions, they lead to nothing, you may be right and I understand you too, but compel Sorry Not your partner to a child, the shot goes backwards, as far as it even lets you sit, I know this well enough from my surroundings. if he is really mature and men are definitely later, then he will tell you and then he will also be prepared for Papa and you will all be able to enjoy it really well, child changed your life completely and also your relationship, it needs a foundation for children, both strong "Build-up" to have .
I think your partner’s arguments are good and I absolutely agree with him – but ask yourself if you don’t miss something in your life … you really have some biological time, I got my first child at 22, the third and last one 34 and I would always prefer the second, I am more relaxed, financially more secure than 10 years ago and just more mature .
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unfortunately I can’t say anything good to you.
You are ready to take the next step in a relationship. This is completely legal and beautiful, because it also shows that you believe in your relationship very much.
You won’t have to give up this wish, but: Just such a step is a thing that two people have to decide. You can only go this step together.
If you now stand behind him and push him, you will get a bit forward, but then he did not make the step himself.
This is the problem: In this case, you are the one who demands change. One that will affect him too. Therefore, it is a thing that must be decided by both.
That you want to have children, of course. You’ll get them too. But he knows that you want children, or make it clear to him again in a conversation, how much you want it and that he should consider this. But he shouldn’t feel in the position that he has to decide now. After all, he has his own speed.
I think if you take this to heart, it will work out faster than you think, without creating a predetermined breaking point in your relationship that leads to unnecessary stress again and again.
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