Last year I wrote a little bit about how luxury was indeed a housewife and mother – for my husband, that is.
Sure, it may be my choice and it can really satisfy me, but also? It works out just fine for him to have someone available 24/7 to take care of the kids, never take a sick day for a puke child, keep the fridge, and pick up his dry cleaners. OK so he doesn’t get his clothes dry cleaned but if he did I would totally pick it up for him.
The truth is, in writing that articles are a whole host of colorful ones "discussions" in the comments about the tired working mother vs. non-working mother spectrum grew up and it really made me think. Over the course of almost 8 years now I have literally almost any kind of job or inactive mother you can imagine. So, I wondered what are the pros and cons of each?
(1) the housewife and mother
For a few short periods in our marriage (read: once after giving birth for six weeks), I was a full-time housewife and mother and only a full-time housewife and mother. Although I’ve always kept the image of being a full-time housewife and mother in my head as the most ideal version, it’s not that that worked for me.
Pros: No need to ever put on or perform care unless life like a mess tends to push you; all day availability to any other person who needs something; the only task in the world where baking and eating muffins is applauded at 10:00 am as an enriching activity; Nobody will report you for a nap at work.
Cons: No financial stability; can be depressing for some women; "sexiness" Factor as a woman can be inhibited; Muffins can cause weight gain; long-term profitability = not good. Also no lunch breaks, bathroom breaks or vacations. ever.
(2) the full-time working mother
I cradled this title when I started full time on the day my first daughter turned 6 weeks old. I went to work as a nurse while my husband stayed at home with our baby.
Pros: Money and benefits are nice; on some days felt like a no-brainer; no guilt at all to come home and do nothing but smell your baby’s head; Man may be forced to do other household jobs that he may not have done otherwise; Long-term financial security can help you sleep better at night. Oh, and the latest news, daughters of working mothers are more likely to succeed in their careers while sons grow up working without the claim that mothers "do not know how" change a diaper or use a vacuum cleaner. score.
Cons: Housework can cause the dreaded "second layer"; Hours vary; Work can feel soul sucking; Childcare can devour all profits; Flu season to be tackled with caution.
(3) the mother’s night shift
I give this type its own category because it deserves it. Works like a night shift employee is a different world in itself and it is one that you cannot fully understand until you have lived it.
Pros: A degree of flexibility, especially for the mother the schoolchildren; financial incentives; Childcare savings; shopping empty supermarket; Colleague gluing at 3:00.
Cons: Extreme sleep deprivation (obviously); non-working days spent recovered; Spousal misunderstanding; Day events for night shift prep are missing; Zombie-like mothering; forced nap in summer; extreme sleep deprivation; Calls that disturb your afternoon sleep.
4. Part-time working mother
This may have been the least stressful for me, all of the work / mom combinations, but it didn’t last that long.
Pros: Provide a good balance of work a day or two a week with home duties; good additional income; Saving opposite schedules on childcare may work.
Cons: No place for career advancement; Job insecurity; usually no benefits; "free" Days can be packed with catch-up; never a sense of a predictable schedule for yourself or for children; others can treat you like you "for real" don’t have a job because it’s just part-time.
(5) the work-at-home mother
This is definitely my most "natural" Role, I practice since I was pregnant with my daughter first. You gotta pry it out of my babyless hand one day to do so much, I love it.
Pros: Extreme flexibility; seems too "best of both worlds" face value; with potentially high income; Yoga pants encouraged; NAP time gold.
Cons: Isolate; Children don’t care that you’re busy; Extreme guilt can occur; General household chaos is a guarantee; Spouse cannot understand high stress; Work and private life boundaries blurred; iPhone probably searches; Taking vacation can lead to hysterical laughter.
We can break the mother’s life what we want, But the truth is, the only real thing we need to know about each scenario is that they all have their own set of challenges and benefits. There is no clear one "best" or "toughest" Situation when it comes to paying a non-working mother or working mother.
Motherhood is not a competition, and personally, I think it is a step forward that we have so many opportunities to combine the worlds of motherhood and work, no matter what combo can work best for us as individuals.
And as for me?
I stay with the "at-Home" Category with my cupcakes for as long as I can. How about you?
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