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. because one is missing
We would actually be four
and are only three,
because one is missing,
and yet none is missing,
because one is always there.
We would actually be four,
four friends,
that went through life,
four singing songs together,
four comrades,
who laughed together,
there were four,
who were often fun,
but we are only three,
because one is missing,
and yet none is missing,
because one is always there.
Where three go and sing,
where three laugh
and make fun.
In reality, we can
no one separate:
Even if it looks like it,
as if we were only three.
Because – one is always there.
Jutta Klinkhammer-Hubo for her late daughter Anika
[up]
The stopover of a little angel
A dream come true
Finally a child of my own.
Something that was hanging by a thread
Threatened by storm and wind.
But well protected in mother’s belly.
Very soft and comfortably warm.
This is 9 months,
Then you hold it in your arms.
But suddenly it starts much earlier,
The contractions begin.
You still think, what am I doing?,
It can’t be now.
The little man, he is born.
The chances are not good.
The hero fights for a few minutes,
With the greatest courage.
All joy is destroyed,
You don’t know where you belong.
You can see the child lying so peacefully,
You can weigh it in your arms.
The little one doesn’t just breathe.
It doesn’t have much weight either.
His time was too short,
In warmth and security.
This child was still far too weak.
The storm and wind were too strong.
What gives hope back strength?
You look for the smallest stem.
Maybe the certainty that you can do it helps:
It was the stopover of a little angel
A breath of life
Just a breath of life,
it was nothing more.
Just a breath of life,
still we miss you.
For a short time only with us,
not getting to know you properly.
For a short time only with us,
you went to the stars much too early.
We will never forget you,
are in the stars and in the wind.
We will never forget you,
you remain our child forever.
We will not stop loving you,
even if the loss will always hurt.
We will not stop loving you,
you are in our thoughts and our hearts.
Do you see us star children
Do you see us star children,
up here in paradise,
under the ancient apple tree?
It is the forbidden fruit tree,
only God has allowed us to eat from it,
because he says we’re special,
we are your children.
Do you see us star children,
up here in paradise,
how we laugh and dance?
We play the most beautiful games
and celebrate the greatest celebrations,
because we are happy here,
we are your children.
Do you see us star children,
up here in paradise,
as we look down at you?
We want you to be just as happy,
therefore we send you strength and new courage to live,
because we love you very much,
we are your children forever.
For all star child parents
Carolin Semmelroth
[up]
You showed me life.
I wanted to accompany you for a while in life,
you the beautiful, but also the sad sides
show this earth.
I wanted the little ones with you
and share the big worries
wanted to laugh with you,
wanted to cry with you,
wanted to be with you for many years
linger in this world.
But fate wanted something different,
you should show me all these things.
You should show me,
what small and what big worries,
you my little one should me
accompanying angels through life.
You opened my eyes,
you showed me something really important.
You give me the strength I need,
to exist in this world.
You my angel showed me life .
For my Lara from your mommy
Denise Quarti
[up]
On the other side of the way
Death is nothing,
I just went to the room next door.
I am me, you are you.
What I was for you is still me.
Give me the name you always gave me.
Speak to me as you have always done.
Don’t be solemn or sad.
Keep laughing at what we laughed about together.
Pray, laugh, think of me. Pray for me.
So that my name is pronounced in the house as it always was,
without any special emphasis, without a trace of a shadow.
Life’s meaning is what it has always been.
The string is not cut through.
Why shouldn’t I be in your thoughts anymore,
just because I’m out of your sight?
I’m not far away, just on the other side of the way.
If you ever lose a child
If you ever lose a child,
how it happened to me,
then you will know the other side of the truth.
You will understand what it means to be destroyed
and yet get up every day
and fill the kettle with water.
You will see the steam rise from the kettle and cry.
You will say that everything is fine.
You got a speck of dust in your eye. That’s all.
Tears will drip on the sidewalk in the street
and fill your shoes.
Say the sun shines in your eyes.
If you show your grief, it won’t go away.
If you hide it, it won’t go away.
It is with you forever and ever,
but there may be an hour,
in which you don’t remember.
An evening when the sky is blue as ink.
An afternoon when your daughter
chasing a cricket she’ll never catch.
Whisper your baby’s name.
Then be quiet!
What do you know about me
You think I would have overcome it
would have found new courage to live
What do you know about me??
Nothing!
i don’t live i work
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
you laugh and joke and I laugh with you
because that’s what you expect
but when I’m alone I still cry
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
you tell of yours "little worries"
and I pretend to listen
but while you know
that you can solve all your problems
I go to my child’s grave and light candles
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
you say time heals all wounds
and eventually everything will be fine
but I know my wounds don’t heal time
I’ll never be the same again
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
you avoid my child’s name
because you think that brings me grief
but he’s always in my thoughts anyway
nothing is more important to me than the memory of my child
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
you say "life goes on,
that is the passage of time"
I only know that I have to live even though I don’t want to
nobody asks: are you ready for it?
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
therefore just a request
no longer give me advice on how to live
just leave me as I am
and if I want to go take it
my pain is so big
you know nothing about me, you understand nothing
Everyone is talking about expectant parents
Everyone is talking about expectant parents,
nobody thinks of a bad ending
and there is still a turning point.
Children are born
and they have not become parents.
That’s how people who don’t know it think,
because those who gave birth to the child, will call themselves parents!
Parents of a star child,
sometimes the name just for yourself and the wind.
You will never see it grow up
or how to get started.
Never hear what they say
or dare to hug.
No they won’t!
But what they can do is love forever,
because you don’t need time for that.
They will not live on earth, but in the heart
and so there will always be a permanent place for the parents.
You can’t measure this love,
because these children will never be forgotten.
They lived, they were human beings, you cannot grasp them
and an outsider has to understand that first!
Kathrin with Jason firmly in the heart
[up]
Your cute face
I see your cute face before my eyes,
but I don’t know the colors of your eyes.
Never saw the glow in it,
you had to leave me beforehand.
Little eyes that never cry,
Children’s tears, the tiny little ones.
Tears that are comforted quickly,
you took her, my child.
I see the little mouth of you,
but it will never call for me.
It’s so cute and even smiles at it,
went before your first scream.
The cheeks are not quite round,
although there is no life in you, everything is healthy.
I know how your nose is stretching,
but you never turn it upside down.
I see your little forehead, you mouse.
But you never pull them frizzy.
They’ll never frown angrily
and smile while measuring.
You hold your hands tightly to yourself,
but they won’t stroke me.
Little hands, delightful to look at,
will never entrust themselves to me in search.
Your feet so small and delicate
will never stamp very hard.
You will never feel childish anger
and play daring outrage.
The skin is so fine and thin,
but she’ll never feel when I’m there.
She could never feel my warmth.
Had to lose you so early.
I had you, my dead child, in my arms
and still I was warm.
You exuded such a calm,
even though you had already left this house.
You are so magical and tiny.
But even though you’re dead, so peaceful.
As if you were smiling, I saw you,
but I don’t know if you felt me.
Kerstin Köferstein, for her late daughter Maja
[up]
I never held you
In my arm
My dear little child;
You died
Before you were born,
Escaped with the wind.
I do not know
Who you were like
Me or dad;
Whether your eyes
Were blue,
Or even brown your hair.
I never could
Hear your voice,
Never feel your heartbeat;
I never could
Your hand
And touch your face.
I just know
That I miss you very much
And that you are far from me;
My little,
Unborn child:
I’ve always missed you.
For those who don’t understand me
You say:
It will be allright.
And
You are still young!
You say:
You can do it.
And also
Life goes on!
You can new ones have children they say.
But I tell you
– why don’t you understand –
I don’t want a new one.
Just want this one.
I want this one child back!
It screams in me
It screams in me.
inaudible,
except in the depths of mine soul.
From moment to moment
I hold tighter,
and I know,
if I hold you longer,
I can never let you go.
I screamed in disbelief,
when they took you from me.
My last chance to touch you,
to hold you and to be with you,
you oh so special love,
that I knew for too short a time.
And yet I know you forever.
Julie Fritsch, from "The pain is infinite" (Köster Verlag, Munich)
[up]
We had little time to say goodbye.
Sadness rains from gray clouds,
Tears gather with my eyes
in a lake, flooded between space and time.
It is not easy to accept death,
so difficult to understand realities.
It hurts so much to lose you,
but you help me to see the wonder world.
I can still feel you in my dreams,
hear how you say you are not far from here.
When sunshine and rain touch,
then you show me the way from me to you.
The gray clouds are gone.
A sunbeam wets the last rain.
And a rainbow rises from the lake,
I will send you a greeting.
I stand at the window and look into the night – wonder:
Whether my angel is watching over me right now?
whether he controls my life,
about whether he knows my life?
It is so difficult for me to let go of my angel
I’m starting the world to hate for it
Infinite sadness fills my broken heart
Crying does little to relieve the cruel pain
Let your delicate wings swing gently at some point
To bring me the message you’re fine there
Angel keep me a place on your cloud
Because when my time comes, we’ll be two again.
For all star dads
I was only asked once,
from a friend, almost despondent:
"What it’s like to be a star dad?
How can you alleviate your pain??"
My answer was a long time coming,
the feelings so infinitely difficult to grasp.
It is not easy to be a star couple,
you miss a child, tiny little.
You were happy with all your heart,
what is left for you now is just the pain.
But nobody wants to see it,
tells you: "Will be fine!"
You don’t find a lot of understanding,
hardly anyone has the knowledge,
that this child lived,
no matter what is on a piece of paper.
You have to stand your husband,
that’s what can be expected of you.
Want to scream, want to cry,
shut up, say no sound, none at all.
Do your duty every day,
your environment usually doesn’t care.
Your mine cut like wood,
any robot would be proud of it.
Your heart is filled with deep sadness,
for the others it was just a brief shower.
Just have to keep going,
you don’t want to laugh at all.
Hide your pain deep within you,
closes it tightly in your heart.
This is not mandatory,
let him out, this is urgent:
Because you too can grieve,
and may take forever!
I wish all star dads the opportunity,
to show their grief and thus to be accepted.
When the sun rises above the clouds,
Asterisk is already sitting on the edge of the bed.
Washed ears and face,
and didn’t forget the hands either.
There is jam bread for breakfast,
with berry juice, sparkling red.
Of course there is also fresh milk,
and crispy cornflakes too much.
But now nothing like romping around!
The weather can only be praised here.
Not too cold and not too hot,
always correct as you know.
Romping on clouds is really great,
you don’t need shoes, bare feet.
Even falling doesn’t hurt,
there is no shouting, no lord!
So playing is really fun,
every day, not just today.
Then there is already lunch,
no asterisk will ever forget that.
There are lots of tasty things here:
Tomato noodles until the tables crack.
Cake and ice cream,
all bowls are emptied in no time!
After eating, wash the asterisk,
all sticky, from snacking.
Then it goes on again,
quickly up and onto the ladder.
Up to the cloud up there,
this is no place to romp.
Here the asterisks take a nap,
fall asleep peacefully, very well.
Then later, at an hour later,
make a message here:
the cloud passer comes over!
The afternoon nap is over.
Everyone wants to see the Kasper,
laugh with him, talk to him.
Then the idea is over,
go the asterisks home quickly.
Everybody has dinner,
paint the sky red beforehand.
After the meal there is another story ‘,
today from Flux, the little light.
Are all the asterisks finally asleep?,
sleep well, the little brave ones.
Then dream of mom and dad,
are in their dreams, are always there.
So a cloudy day passes,
you see: is not a monotony!
All asterisks are fine,
therefore have a lot of strength and a lot of courage!
He suddenly comes from an ambush,
catches you ice cold again and again.
Tear your chest, blow your heart.
keeps coming back, you know who: the PAIN.
Don’t think of anything bad right now,
rejoice in the light, rejoice in life.
He strikes there, knows no pity,
crushes joy, splits your happiness.
You often think you are rid of HIM,
your joy about it, so infinitely great.
But HE will be your companion forever,
you, no, He never leaves you!
You have to live with, arrange with HIM,
Navigate through your life with HIM.
Is not always there, but never completely gone,
you can’t get rid of HIM, there’s no use.
We ask ourselves day in and day out:
"What does an asterisk party look like??"
The secret is over now!
I tell you, I was there.
When little asterisks party,
then there is something for everyone to laugh about.
All clouds are pushed together,
it’s a lot easier to romp about.
Balloon and butterfly,
every pretty thing
celebrate with us, that’s for sure!
Today is asterisk party! Hooray!
Cookies and cocoa go round,
and multi-colored fingers.
Paint a rainbow
to the sky, not lying!
Tired, from the big buzz,
everyone take a break first.
Cuddle with the cloud animal,
then becomes calmer here again.
And the asterisks are busy celebrating,
but only until six thirty.
Then we go straight to bed!
Then it sleeps so nicely.
Then dream of mom and dad,
are then very close and close to them.
Cuddle up in the dream,
so that the asterisk can sleep better.
An asterisk party is awesome,
so remember, every time:
There’s a cloud cover in the sky above?
They pushed the asterisks together!
Sometimes it is comforting to introduce yourself,
that where my crumb is now, it’s just beautiful.
An asterisk wants to send a dream,
that’s how dad should think of it.
Made up something nice,
made colorful dreams of it.
But what happens next?,
that the dream comes to the man?
Still have to go down to earth,
before Papa wakes up there.
And so the asterisk starts,
is very happy,
that daddy tonight,
with a dream is considered.
But what the asterisk is not aware of,
you need a form for that.
Because even in heaven above,
is to praise the bureaucracy.
So it should write fine,
in a triple application:
What, where and why?
That becomes too stupid for the asterisk!
Finds a few raindrops,
those who knock on dad’s roof.
Then send the dream with them.
Hui! And off you go!
Then finally arrive at the bottom.
When dad sleeps like a tired man,
then put the dream on the pillow.
From whom? Papa will know!
Who doesn’t dream of an asterisk,
the asterisk has not failed to do so.
It’s just desperate completely,
via a dream mailing form.
The wind blows a leaf from the tree
The wind blows a leaf from the tree,
of many sheets one.
It’s a leaf, you hardly notice it,
because one is not one.
But this one leaf alone
was part of our life.
That is why this leaf becomes alone
we are always missing.
The borrowed star
Once upon a time there was a little star,
he liked to shine in the sky.
But sometimes he wanted to see the earth
and let himself be sent to the earthlings with a lot of momentum.
Everyone was delighted.
The arrival action was successful!
A few grams distributed over a small length –
oh dear what a weak amount.
The little star was sad,
he had tried so hard!
Effort alone was not enough,
that showed the light every day.
Aid came from all sides, should heal and accompany.
But Sternchen preferred to go
and stand in its old place in the sky.
The earthlings stay behind and mourn,
but is certain,
Starfish will never regret the step.
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