Mediation and divorce – no war of roses thanks mediator

Mediation: questions and answers

Stress makes you sick. Last year, 40 percent of all sick leave was due to psychosomatic illnesses. Even quarrels in the family leads to stress and often ends in court. Mediation can prevent stress and legal proceedings. Sometimes the fronts are so hardened that the parties simply can not communicate alone anymore. Getting professional help from a mediator is no shame, but testifies to true greatness and the first and important step to resolve the conflict. The mediator acts as a party between the parties "referee" and tries to mediate between them as neutral persons and work out an agreement with which both sides can come to terms. Especially with a divorce, therefore, offers a divorce mediation on.

The most important

  • A mediator has the function of mediating between the two partners, so that the divorce is not disputed and seeks to find an out-of-court settlement.
  • Mediation is intended to prevent a controversial divorce proceedings, so that a lot of time and money can be saved.
  • A mediation is basically not eligible for legal protection insurance. Some legal expenses insurance, however, still take various costs, which should be clarified in advance.

Table of Contents

What can mediation do??

Good mediation can save a lot of money and, above all, a lot of nerves and time. The prerequisite is that both partners succeed in establishing a targeted communication.

The mediator is thus the helmsman who tries to work out a mutually viable solution with both partners.

The road to it is not straight, but at the end of a successful mediation is often a deep contentment. The partners basically do not feel that the other one misunderstands.

Cost and nerves saved with the Sche >Mediation does not just save court fees and attorney fees.

Through divorce mediation, the atmosphere between the partners could be raised again to a level that allowed solutions to be found.

What does mediation mean?

Mediation as a mediation attempt

Mediation is another word for dispute resolution or mediation between conflicting parties, which is also used in separation and divorce. Mediators are uninvolved third parties who mediate between the (married) couple. The mediator does not mediate in the true sense, but tries to work with the respective couples first of all once a discussion basis.

Once the discussion has been found, a lasting solution to the conflict is sought together with the conflicting parties.

Mediation as an extrajudicial alternative

Mediation is an out-of-court conflict resolution procedure, in which everyone looks for solutions autonomously and above all voluntarily. With separation and divorce the mediation can refer to all personal and factual separation and divorce consequences. If applicable, it also refers to the way the common children are treated.

A good solution for be >Mediation does not mean that one party gets right and the other does not. Rather, both parties should win, so that a so-called win-win situation should be created. In many cases, the mediation prevents litigation in court, in which an out-of-court settlement is brought about.

What training do mediators have to have??

The self-image of mediators

Mediators see themselves as third parties, whose primary task is that the divided parties communicate again (learn), come back into conversation. The desired conversation should then be based solely on facts and should be as objective as possible and without great emotions.

The difference between dispute resolution and mediation

In contrast to mediation, mediators in the mediation process do not make pioneering suggestions for a compromise solution, but leave the conflict parties to what they are talking about and negotiating and how they want to resolve their conflict.

Mediators have different priorities

Mediators are found particularly often in the following occupational fields: lawyers, management consultants, psychologists, theologians, social scientists and communication scientists.

Mediation in the area of ​​separation and divorce are mainly lawyers, psychologists or social scientists.

What are the prerequisites for successful mediation??

Voluntary and the desire to find a solution

Mediation can only be successful if the parties have a real interest in settling the dispute amicably and out of court. Mediation is based on the principle of voluntariness. It is therefore important for the parties to recognize that it is not about dogmatism, but about insight. Namely the insight that by means of a constructive conversation both parties can only win.

A third, the be >In addition, it is necessary for the mediator to have the same understanding of both viewpoints and views of the conflicting parties. The principle of so-called impartiality means that the mediator stands on “both sides”. He will therefore seek to balance an existing power gap between the parties.

How is mediation going??

The decision >First the mediator will listen to the facts and get an idea. He will then decide whether mediation makes sense in the individual case. The mediator will not mediate if he realizes that the parties to the conflict are too insistent on their viewpoints and viewpoints, and that it is clear in advance that neither party will be willing to take a step towards the other party.

If he recognizes a possibility that an agreement seems fundamentally feasible, the mediator will outline to both parties the further procedure and the further steps. He will also give you a quote.

The first conversation

As soon as the financial questions have been resolved, an initial discussion will be held to discuss the situation. Thereafter, the mediator will work with the parties to look for arrangements for the conflict and review which solutions can actually be implemented realistically. In doing so, he will note that the solutions sought will also prevent the flare-up of new conflicts in the longer term.

In this process of finding a solution, the mediator questions statements, encourages other points of view, and gives impetus without himself taking sides, condemning or proposing to resolve conflicts.

An acceptable solution is found

If the parties have agreed on a solution that is acceptable to all, it will be recorded in writing. This is necessary to ensure that the parties comply with the agreement.

How much does a mediation cost??

Fee freely agreed

As a rule, an hourly fee agreement is concluded for mediation. The height is individually negotiable and not predetermined. It depends on the individual configuration of the conflict case. The hourly rates can be at a lawyer at 120 euros to 180 euros, in a mediation by members of psycho-social professions considerably lower. Here it should be noted, however, that the mediation agreement can be reviewed by a lawyer.

Costs depend on the complexity

The amount of mediation costs will therefore depend on the complexity of your situation (number of hours envisaged) and the agreed hourly rate, which may vary depending on the mediator and case.

In any case, you should sign a mediation agreement in writing at the beginning of a mediation.

Free points of contact

There are also free contact points, such as in educational counseling or the youth welfare office, when it comes to a conflict on the custody of children. Other partially subsidized counseling centers require a contribution oriented to the income situation of the participants.

The non-monetary advantage

If you manage to reach an out-of-court dispute resolution through mediation, not only do you often have a financial advantage but also a moral advantage. They have managed to achieve a solution with the help of a mediator from a seemingly hopeless situation. This can be important and decisive above all for the future.

Negotiate instead of Rose War

How mediation can help in conflicts

Serenity is trainable. Anger and stress should be kept as low as possible. And stress is also caused by strife. Who has not had a difficult confrontation with colleagues, employees, neighbors or in the family? When an argument escalates, it often ends up in court. That does not have to be. There are other ways to resolve a dispute: mediation.

Interests and needs are revealed

In the context of mediation, an independent third party will work out which motives are behind the individual positions and which interests and needs are behind the motives. When these interests and needs are disclosed by both sides, understanding for the interests of the other is created in most cases.

And just then an agreement can be found to the advantage of both parties. In the mediation is negotiated, not as claimed and proven in court. There are conversations between the parties, mostly in a casual informal atmosphere. In court, judges ask questions – in mediation, things can be questioned directly without anyone checking the appropriateness of the questions. So facts come to the table that you would never learn in court.

Nevertheless, mediation is a very confidential procedure, unlike public court proceedings. The mediators commit to secrecy.

Mediation saves time

There are other advantages: A court process often takes a few months, usually it takes years, because there are already months between appointments. For example, a man struggling to get custody of his children waits up to 4 months for a first hearing. An inheritance dispute was recently terminated after 5 years of resource-consuming back-and-forth. Mediation can resolve the conflict in 6 weeks.

The relationship between the parties to the dispute usually does not get better by going to court. On the contrary, the “war” hardens the fronts and a peaceful coexistence is then rarely possible. In mediation, it is often the case that by raising the understanding of the interests of the other party not only is it easier to resolve the quarrel itself, but the relationship between the two becomes better. In addition, a mediation process costs much less than a legal proceeding.

People who talk can be helped. Often, parents who fight for their children do not talk to each other anymore. You do not act anymore, you react. The cause of this is the stress that the contestants are under. That would be completely unnecessary, if you put in place of the dispute, a constructive dispute.

The bottom line is: mediation is more than a way to resolve conflicts. She has become an attitude in dealing with interpersonal tension situations.

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