Psychologist: how to avoid conflicts between parents and children

Conflicts confront us at every turn, inevitable even in ideal families. This suggests that we not only learn how to avoid conflict, but to solve it. This will help minimize the risks and also to solve the difficulties. What psychological advice on how to avoid conflict between parents and children? Perhaps, in the family, most often they occur because of intimate space in this particular social group, which is much smaller than the others. The topic of this article: «Psychologist: how to avoid conflict between parents and children.»

Psychologist: how to avoid conflict between parents and children largely depend on the gender of the child. Interesting fact that daughters arise conflicts much more often than with sons, for the reason that the daughter in the communication need to be intimate than a son. From this it can be seen that the nature of the conflicts does not arise from the fact that the family members are too far apart, but on the contrary from their close interaction. Therefore, if you blame conflicts – don’t panic or blame yourself, it’s quite normal for everyone to face them. To avoid conflict between parents and children, we need to understand the essence of this concept, its causes, and then examine how to solve it.

How to start a conflict? In the first place, the difference is of interest. At the same time, the request of one party violates the interests of the other, in other words, these two desires cannot be fulfilled and it is a situation, "or … or", in which you need to make a decision for one of the interests and To take wishes.

In this situation there are two wrong and one right way to solve it. Unfortunately, most parents choose the wrong way to solve the conflict, leading to other problems related to character formation and education.

Consider ways to resolve the conflict in a particular sample. For example, the family come Visiting and forgiving the mother of her daughter away in his room, to which she replied that at the moment to complete the program, she should throw one of the guests, for example, his cousin, that she promised last time , There is a conflict situation where each of the people have to fulfill their wish, each of them has to be fulfilled at the same time.

The first wrong way to solve the conflict in which the mother wins. The mother tells her daughter to immediately finish what she said and do pending tasks. This method carries out the command and aggression, only the conflict develops. First, the child unconsciously learns only to fulfill their wish and suppress the wishes of others that he will carry for the rest of life. Second, we have rage child relationship between the mother-in-law and move further and further away and the port. If the girl from childhood to use such methods, or she will grow aggressive and rough, or vice versa, too passive.

Another non-constructive approach – win child. If you always give him the conflict and give him something similar technique in “child” for “his own good,” selfishness develops, the inability to organize to solve conflicts in other situations outside the family. We see that in each of the non-constructive methods of solving the conflict, the child accumulates certain negative traits and forms his character incorrectly and in the future it will also resolve conflicts incorrectly.

Faithful of Buda’s mutual compromise, both win. In this case, empathy is the psychological techniques of active listening, “I messages” and also as the ability to be compassionate to understand the other person and sit in his place. In the event of a conflict – to listen to someone else’s will to consider it led to the resolution of the conflict, by the fact that both desires were granted. In order to resolve the conflict through compromise, it is first necessary to objectively assess the situation on both sides. Then, with compassion, the wish of both sides to guess which solution is best approached. The third step is to compare both the desire and bring some solutions to the problem – the more the better. After that each side acceptably chooses both the method of conflict resolution.

In this case, the parent and the child remains in victory, the conflict resolved, as each of the individuals learn to resolve conflicts outside the family.

But there are other causes of family conflict. For example, a lack of understanding of the other, excessive pushiness, high demands on one side or the other, violation of the privacy of the child, fear that violates the interests of one side or overlapping ability to fulfill one’s desires. How conflicts arise due to the simple inability to communicate, excessive temperament of one of the people, the inability to express his desire to explain it to others.

As in the listening position – do not interrupt others’ attention to the children’s assessments, do not let them criticize you during the conversation as well as their solutions. Do not advise to practice tolerance. You can use other policy psychological techniques to make it clear to your child that you are actively listening to him. To do this involve non-verbal communication, gestures and facial expressions. Slushatel- If it is you, then it is not the child’s fault, talking quietly, in a raised voice, explaining in detail his position and the desire, taking into account the wishes of the child. Show him that you understand, at the same time, not protecting, but not using force.

So, psychological counseling: how to avoid conflict between parents and children, what are they? The psychologist advises not to be ragged and experience a negative state about a family member. If you do not are in the spirit – trying to cope with their problems, not by their child or parent, this creates conflict. If you are a parent, be careful to humiliate a child in order to differentiate against them in terms of yourself, not understand, and to violate his word. Grievances in these cases not only conflict, but also significantly spoil your relationship.

Definitely take it Her child For who he is, let him know that you only want the best for him, and just like it, take it, and want to learn position, communicate, so that you learn not only but also to avoid conflicts.

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