When divorced children are grown up "My biggest fear is that this happens to me too"

By Teresa Sickert

What traces does an experience of separation leave in the parents’ house for the children? Three now divorced children talk about their attitudes and fears about love and partnership. One realization: the separation of parents is one of the most formative experiences in life.

"When my parents broke up, I was 17, it was 1998 and it was actually a mess, I would say."

Sebastian Ebel [1] is a post-child. This is the term used to refer to children who have already experienced their parents’ divorce.

Christina Cherry

Divorce cost calculator: calculate your divorce costs free of charge

Custody may need to be reorganized as part of the divorce. This can be done by mutual agreement by the spouses or by consulting the court. more .

divorce petition

Submitting the divorce petition is the beginning of the divorce proceedings. This can only be done by a lawyer, otherwise the application is ineffective. more .

Court on costs

After the divorce application has been received by the court, the court requests that the expected court costs be paid or advanced. more .

Abolition of civil partnership

The registered civil partnership is now largely legally equivalent to marriage. Therefore, the divorce rules are also comparable. more .

Christina Cherry

In this context we mention the possibility of change model in case of separation and divorce. Under certain circumstances, this can best correspond to the child’s best interests. However, the switch model requires a basic communication and cooperation ability of the parents and then expands the child’s well-being if there are secure ties and sustainable relationships with both parents.

Mediation for couples in Saarland

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What does the Sche mean >Divorce is a process that begins long before the actual separation and that is gradually starting to roll. The separation is often preceded by a long conflict between the spouses. The first 2 years after the divorce is called a crisis period designated. For the children, the crisis begins with shock, fear, and anger when they learn that their parents’ marriage / relationship has broken.

In this critical time, children have two very specific needs: First, they are increasingly asking for emotional support as they try to adapt to the totally different circumstances of life. Second, they rely on a reasonably reliable daily routine. Unfortunately, the parents themselves have too many problems and fears at this time to help their children properly. It is very difficult for a child to understand or even accept that one day his father or mother moves out of the shared apartment and leaves it – at least that’s how the child experiences it.

Christina Cherry

Advice and help for men with separation, divorce

1. Professional help for men

1.1. A guide only for men?

maennerscheidt.info, MSI for short, is – as the name suggests – made as a guide for men, fathers, big and small boys.
We have chosen to address by "You" decided – not out of disrespect, but because we strive for a very trusting cooperation.
Women are only tolerated here. However, we are delighted if you look around as part of your natural curiosity so that you can pass on the information as a tip to affected men.

1.2. Dispute with the partner about wealth, children and maintenance

In Germany alone, more than 150,000 marriages are divorced.
The numbers in Austria and Switzerland are no less worrying.
Statistically speaking, it is every marriage divorced after 16 years. There are also multiple separations between unmarried couples.
However, MSI is not just about men who have quarrels in their relationship. And with that we are more than just another "divorce counselors".
Single men are also fundamentally threatened by this topic and can benefit from our experience in terms of preparation for life or a future partnership.

Christina Cherry