Violence in kindergarten: teacher reveals what is going wrong – focus online

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Anke Elisabeth Ballmann has visited over 500 nurseries and kindergartens in Germany and testified to terrible acts on children. Now she reveals it "soul beatings", to which millions of children are exposed every day – and explains what consequences this has for children’s development.

Lena visits a crèche. She is one year old. The girl with the dark curls hits a toy on the head of another child. The teacher sees it and approaches Lena threateningly. She screams at her: "You’re getting on my nerves, you little bitch. ”She grabs Lena by the arm and pulls her out of the group room into the hallway. There she orders in a harsh tone that she has to sit on the bench alone for five minutes and think about what she has just done.

Lena is one year old. You don’t have to be a developmental psychologist to realize that Lena doesn’t understand what she did wrong. She cannot put herself in other people’s shoes yet, she knows not at all, that she hurt the other child. At her age, she can neither think about her actions nor recognize what five minutes are. Above all, Lena is not yet able to make a direct connection between her action and the teacher’s reaction.

Now she is sitting alone in the hallway and crying. Nobody is there for them. What does that trigger in her? She was insulted loudly. She is scared, she is irritated, she feels completely abandoned. For a one-year-old, this experience is an emotional catastrophe that is highly likely to have undesirable later consequences.

With this terrifying description Dr. Anke Elisabeth Ballmann’s book "Soul beating – what really happens to children in daycare centers. And what we can do about it" (Kösel publishing house).

The pedagogue and psychologist visited more than 500 German daycare centers and kindergartens and witnessed a large number of problematic scenes. Her book is intended to shake up parents and educators and raise awareness of the topic. Because the consequences for mentally abused children are dramatic.

Exciting, but no time right now?

FOCUS Online: Ms. Ballmann, parents reading your book will probably be deeply shocked. What are the crimes against children in your book??

Anke Elisabeth Ballmann: It is mainly about deep psychological injuries such as constant humiliation, isolation, violent words, degrading behavior and pressure, which always causes great anxiety in the children. Unfortunately, there are still too many teachers who force children to eat, sleep and take part in activities that they do not want to take part in. And not with squeamish words.

When the parents leave, the mood changes quickly

FOCUS Online: What are the worst acts of violence that you have witnessed?

Ballmann: For me, the worst and most common acts of violence are the subtle and those that hardly anyone thinks about, but which have been shown to damage children’s souls. Quite often, for example, children have to look for one "offense" being alone – like sitting in the hallway as punishment, that is pure torture for the children and can be classified as a painful soul beating par excellence. Likewise, children are not always taken seriously, some educators simply ignore their needs. And unfortunately, there are times when children are tortured in a targeted manner.

FOCUS Online: Do you have a certain scene in your head??

Ballmann: An example: A child does not like sauce being poured over pasta at lunch and clearly shows this preference. An annoyed educator forces this child to eat these unloved noodles with sauce by brutally pushing this dish into his mouth. It sounds unbelievable, but scenes of this and other, tougher types still take place far too regularly in too many institutions.

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FOCUS Online: How is it possible that the parents do not notice anything?

Ballmann: Parents who bring their dearest what they have to the daycare in the morning cannot imagine that the friendly welcoming smile of many teachers will go out as soon as they are alone with the children and a completely different, harsher tone is struck. A tone that has absolutely nothing to do with loving interaction, understanding and appreciation and above all respect for the children.

Soul beating leaves measurable traces in the brain

FOCUS Online: What consequences does it have for the children if they are treated so violently?

Ballmann: I always say that psychological violence is invisible like air and destructive like a hurricane. Because this violates the integrity of the children, because their dignity is permanently taken away. Children who have to endure psychological abuse cannot build self-esteem or self-confidence, and these deficits have long-term, long-term negative consequences.

FOCUS Online: There are studies that confirm that?

Ballmann: Research shows that mental injuries, like physical injuries, leave measurable traces in the brain. These psychologically abused children deal with stress differently, become anxious and stressed much faster, and this also affects their ability to learn, for example.

They believe much less in themselves, are less confident, have more fears and often show behaviors that harm themselves and / or others. Childhood psychological abuse very often has lifelong consequences.

FOCUS Online: In your book, you write that most of the approximately 13 million children in Germany are mentally abused in the first six years of their lives. That sounds dramatic.

Ballmann: I don’t want to paint black, but I dare to say that in most daycare centers there are educators who knowingly or unwittingly use psychological violence and that every day, because it is hers "normal" Sound and dealing with the children entrusted to them. It is very, very important to me to point out this fact again and again: Most educators are wonderful, loving, extremely professional and conscious and love their job and the children they deal with! My book is all about the black sheep, which unfortunately are not uncommon.

Violent educators are rarely punished

FOCUS Online: But someone has to notice when so many children are injured. Why are complaints and real penalties so rare??

Ballmann: Unfortunately, this is a fatal cycle of not looking, fearful silence or a wrong assessment of the events, especially by the colleagues of the "perpetrators". Of these, many deeds, such as derogatory statements, are not perceived as very violent.

And if there are civil-educated educators who report certain intolerable incidents and continued psychological abuse to the management, their statements are not always true taken seriously. The brave educators then often have problems with the management or the porter themselves. In addition, even if the colleague is heard, there are usually only conversations with them "perpetrators", and they get opportunities over opportunities to improve. Which, unfortunately, never happens in most cases.

Only in extreme cases, which usually include physical abuse, will the consequences of employment law finally follow.

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FOCUS Online: If educators unconsciously exercise psychological violence – it is then due to inadequate training?

Ballmann: Yes, often – not always – this is especially true in relation to psychological violence. It is not enough if the training focuses on the issues of child welfare and protection against violence. The issue of psychological violence needs special attention because "methods of education", How to let punishment sit is often still socially accepted. It is far too seldom clear how devastating humiliation can have on people. Many educators really don’t know what they’re actually doing or doing to the children – they often experienced it the same way in their own childhood, and that’s why it’s normal behavior for them. Many don’t even get the idea that violent behavior can also be silent and that appraisal looks that are constantly administered can hurt a lot.

FOCUS Online: How could that be counteracted?

Ballmann: The best would of course be aptitude tests for these professions, as they already exist for pilots, for example.

FOCUS Online: What would have to change in the short and long term, so that children in daycare are really in good hands?

Ballmann: In the short and long term, we need a zero tolerance limit for violent and violent behavior towards children. It will have to be acted faster in the future if something gets out of hand. And training and further education offers must be created that pay much more attention to the principle suitability, ability to reflect and personal development of the educators.

How parents recognize a good institution

FOCUS Online: After reading your book, you as a parent have to ask yourself whether you can have your child looked after in good conscience at daycare or kindergarten. What is your opinion?

Ballmann: Yes, you can definitely! Because the time a child spends in the daycare is important – the most important thing is and remains the parents! Even if things don’t go so well in daycare, loving parents who spend time with their children can make up for it by taking their child seriously and living a dignified life as a family.

FOCUS Online: Nevertheless, many children spend a lot of time in the facilities.

Ballmann: And that’s why I want to contribute with my book above all to the fact that all family members take a closer look when a child who attends a daycare center behaves differently than usual, appears more intimidated or shows signs every morning that they no longer want to go to daycare and when it is picked up, cries, because these can be symptoms of overload. The symptoms of psychological violence are not always visible to the outside world, but they can be identified with closer observation of the child. With this in mind, I call on all parents to be more mindful without wanting to panic or fear per se.

FOCUS Online: How can parents recognize a good facility?

Ballmann: Parents should not initially be blinded by a chic outer facade. Rather, you should pay attention to whether you feel spontaneously comfortable in the facility when you enter it. And above all, they should pay attention to how that Employee deal with each other. Most importantly – you should try to feel the mood. I also always look at the condition of the plants and the toilets, you can also tell if "care" takes place overall and at all levels or not. Parents could also just hear what they perceive, for example whether there is a lot of shouting. You can pay attention to whether children are allowed to eat themselves, whether they have to accept every meal and whether they are allowed to sleep when they are tired – even outside of bedtime. All of these can be good indicators, although there is no absolute certainty with such an assessment.

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