When the father is only at home on weekends.
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Dad is only at home on weekends
The bag is packed and ready at the door. With the car key in hand, the father sneaks into the children’s room again and kisses each child on the forehead. It is Sunday evening, he has put the little ones into bed, now there is a long car ride ahead of him. The father of two children does his job three hundred kilometers away. Only on Friday evening will he be able to hug her personally. It is a similar experience for many fathers, whose weeks consist of five days working in another city and two days of intensive weekend with the children and their partner.
Also read: How to run one Weekend marriage preferably?
This family model is finding its way into families more and more and runs through all social classes. From construction workers to highly qualified engineers or managers, fathers commute to their jobs during the week, knowing full well that this is not the optimum for women and children or for them personally. These fathers either made the choice voluntarily and only after weighing up the advantages and disadvantages, or made a conscious decision with all the consequences for their job and career. How can you do one Family weekend shape?
Burdens on the family
Because working in a distant place brings with it some stress that a family who lives under one roof for seven days simply does not know. The fathers see themselves as responsible for a reason and are still often seen as today "Family breadwinner" there. The pressure is therefore great, but the labor market is not always well-disposed to families. The rent for a large apartment with children’s rooms has to be paid, loans may continue and costs for school books, the school trip or the family holiday add up. On the other hand, job opportunities, especially opportunities for advancement, are few and far between. If you have the opportunity to progress in your job, many fathers take this opportunity.
Unfortunately, the family’s central center of life does not always have to conform to the place of work. The children have their friends in kindergarten and school, are familiar with teachers, enjoy the care of their grandparents – they are fully socially integrated. You don’t want to tear them out of their environment. In addition, the wife or partner often has a job that she might have to give up.
If the husband or partner is not at home during the week, this means a major stress test for the wife and mother as well as for the children. Many decisions have to be made spontaneously, official positions taken care of, children cared for alone. No one will help washing dishes or bring the garbage down in the evening. If a child is sick, not only is there no comforting dad in an emergency, but second childcare is also missing – which inevitably means loss of work and therefore a disadvantage in the job for the mother. In addition, the family always needs outside help, the one baby-sitter or relatives like grandparents, uncles and aunt etc. – otherwise would have to Parents’ evenings at schools canceled, the appointment with the hairdresser canceled and much more. Going to the supermarket quickly because you forgot the butter means wrapping two children in thick jackets and boots in winter and getting annoyed on the way to shopping that you didn’t plan better right away.
Time for children and partner is important
The children develop their own way of dealing with their father. Since dad is only at home on weekends, time is short. Fathers attach great importance to spending this time with the children and catching up on the week. So that the relationship with the partner can be neglected quickly, because many things also have to be done on the weekend. The children themselves have to learn to accept their father’s absence. That is not always easy when one "Father-child"-In the afternoon at school, the son needs a conversation with the father or the daughter is looking for a strong shoulder to cuddle.
Many fathers live this kind of everyday family life for years and the children grow into it. Depending on the age of the child, it is easier or harder for the family. The older the children are, the more they need their father as a male caregiver. Modern media such as the Internet, video telephony or cell phones make it easier for families to master the separation during the week. If there was a good grade at school, Papa is also quickly informed by email. And the bedtime story is replaced by an evening phone call with a song of sleep and a ritual. Just kissing on the phone is not the same as the real warm hug of daddy’s strong arms before going to sleep.
Text: C. D. / Status: 05.01.2020
Of course we also have some information for Couples with children who have separated. In this case, the weekend dad usually sees his children only every two weeks for a weekend.
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