Parenting Teenagers: Advice To Help Through The Teen Years

Remember when your child was a baby and you couldn’t wait for them to be older so you could sleep through the night and feel rested? Many parents end up wishing away the younger years only to find that the teen years are harder than they expected. Parenting teenagers does bring with it a new level of challenges and situations, but with the right help through sources such as online therapy, you and your teen will make it through together. Below are some parenting tips for those who want to help their children through the teenage years.

Teens Need More Freedom. But Don’t Give Them Complete Freedom

As parents, it’s important to set rules for children to follow as they grow. However, the older they get, the more freedom they need to start making their own decisions. This actually helps them to build healthy emotional and mental health. As your young child becomes a teenager, you may notice that they start to want more freedom from their family life. If you continue to hold them to the same rules and restrictions that they had when they were a little kid, you may notice that they start to rebel against it. This is why it can be better and safer for parents to provide their teens with a little more freedom as they become older and start to show their responsibility.

While it’s good to give your teenager more freedom as they go through adolescence, you don’t want to give them total freedom. It’s still good for them to have some rules to follow to help keep them safe. However, you may find it helpful to change the way that you set rules. Explaining why you created the rules that you have can help teens to be more likely to respect and follow them, and it can help to allow your teen to establish rules with you. As they get older, you can revisit rules together to discuss which ones are still necessary and which ones may be able to change. It’s also important to be clear about what the consequences are if they break a rule. You want to be consistent instead of just creating punishments in the heat of your anger if they disobey you.

Remember That They Are Watching You

Even though many teenagers tend to act like they don’t think their parents know anything, they’re still watching you and learning from you. Young people, even teens, are impressionable. If they see that their parents turn to alcohol at the end of a rough day or find drugs in your home, they may model that behavior. The actions parents engage in will influence the behavior of their children. The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids shares that your children are more likely to binge drink if they witness this behavior in you. This is why it’s important to model responsible behavior for them.

This is a great time for parents to set an example for teens of how to take care of themselves properly. Model for them what good self-care looks like. Encourage your kids to participate in self-care activities as well. Teach your kids about good eating habits, sleep habits, and the importance of learning how to manage stress.

Remember What It Was Like To Be Their Age

It may feel like a long time ago when you were a teenager, but it probably wasn’t really that long ago. When you get frustrated with your teen, think about the things that you did at their age. This can help you to have a little more empathy for your kids and understand where they are coming from as you’re parenting them. You may remember challenging your parents as you worked to find your own place in the world. Or, you may remember the pressure that you experienced to succeed in high school or fit in with the crowd.

Regaining the perspective about what these experiences were like can help parents interact with their kids. Chances are good that if your parent was yelling at you then you were probably less likely to listen. Teens today aren’t that different from teens in the past even though they do face some unique challenges.

Validate Them

It can be good for parents to take time to praise their teen for who they are, not what they do. There’s nothing wrong with complimenting them on something that they’ve achieved, but you also want to build them up for the positive characteristics that they have. This can help them to build healthy self-esteem and respect for themselves, instead of feeling the pressure of needing to perform well in an area in order to receive praise and acceptance. It’s possible that your teen might blow you off when you praise them, but it could just be that they’re trying to look tough. There’s a good chance that they are taking it to heart and appreciate your comments even if they don’t show it to you.

Talk To Your Teen About Sex

It can be uncomfortable for parents to talk to their child about sex. And, you may feel like you already had “the talk” with them so your job is done. But it can be helpful to keep the conversation open with them. There can be a lot of pressure on teens from students and other peers to be sexually active. You want to provide them a safe place to turn for support and guidance. If your teen finds that you are judgmental and pushy when they come to talk to you about sensitive conversations like this, they may stop trying to talk to you. And it’s important to make sure that your teen is getting accurate information. If they aren’t comfortable talking to you, make sure that they have another place they can turn for accurate information that isn’t other teenagers or the internet.

Know Anxiety And Depression Signs In Teens

Teens are dealing with stress, anxiety, and depression at an increasing rate and need to learn coping skills for teens. Because of the changes in society and the addition of technology, most teens face challenges in their lives that most parents didn’t experience when they were that age. Overall, there is a stronger pressure for young students to succeed and to keep up with things like school, friends, extracurricular activities, and a social media presence. This can wear on your children and can lead to problems with anxiety and depression, both of which can lead to, in extreme cases, suicide. As a parent, it’s important to learn how to recognize the signs that your teen could be struggling with their mental health. This can include things like:

• Loss of energy
• Change in sleeping habits
• Restlessness or being easily agitated
• Sudden decline in school performance
• Self-harm
• Talk of suicide
• Chronic pain, headaches, or digestive issues

If you believe that your teen could be starting to struggle, it’s important to take action to make sure they have the help they need. This could be as simple as helping them learn better techniques to manage their stress levels or taking them to see a doctor or therapist.

If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please reach out for help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline can be reached at 1-800-273-8255 and is available 24/7.

Make Yourself Available To Talk

As parents, your life is probably busy as well. But it’s important to make sure you’re available for your teen when they need you. They probably won’t need their parents as much as they did when they were younger, but you don’t want to miss the chance if they do want to talk. During these conversations, make sure you give them your undivided attention as they speak. Don’t allow others to interrupt and don’t be distracted by your phone. Then, listen to them before responding. Don’t try to jump right in and tell them what to do. Give them a chance to talk and listen to not only the words they are saying but the meaning behind them as well.

Don’t Be Afraid To Get Help From Professionals

Raising children of any age can be a challenge for parents. It’s okay if you don’t know exactly what to do at each moment. There’s nothing wrong with turning to the help of a professional such as licensed therapists at BetterHelp when you need help. A therapist is able to help you deal with the stresses that parenting brings and give you support when you need it. You may find that you’re struggling with your own stress and anxiety. Or, you may be going through other situations that make it challenging to parent the way that you wish you could. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed to address these challenges with a therapist.

You may also find that it’s helpful for your teen to spend time talking with a therapist as well. Or, you may find the option of family therapy helpful as you all work together to help everyone maintain good mental and emotional health. Adolescence can be complicated for both teenagers and parents alike. But with the right tips and a little advice, you and your child will make it through to the other side.

Commonly asked questions found below:

Why is parenting a teenager so hard?

Teens are going through many changes in their lives, between school; pressure surrounding sex, alcohol, or drugs; self-esteem issues; new relationships with friends, peers, and romantic interests; and other concerns. Teenagers are also starting to become more independent, which may mean they are not as big a part of their parents’ lives anymore. They are no longer young kids, and they may feel disrespected if you continue to treat them that way. This can make it difficult to know how to react as a parent. Luckily, you can still watch over your child while giving them the space to grow outside of their family life.

Also, as teens go through adolescence, behavior can shift rapidly, making it even more difficult for parents to keep up. Teens are going through many changes—physical, mental, and emotional—and their feelings may reflect that. It’s good to validate the emotions your children are experiencing so that you can be part of their support system.

Part of the reason it can be difficult to raise teenagers is that it’s a delicate balance between parenting too much or too little. You want to make your children feel like you’re they’re friend, but also ensure that they respect the rules and boundaries you’ve created for them. Of course, there’s going to be a risk that they get their feelings hurt or react negatively to something you do; but being able to stick to your rules is a sign of good parenting. If you tell your teenagers that you’re going to limit their screen time to a certain amount, be sure to stick to your word. When parents stick to their word, it also sets a good example of how to follow through and maintain healthy boundaries.

How can I be a better mom to my teenager?

There are many things you can do as a parent to support your child during their adolescence. Giving teens support can be as simple as making sure you eat meals together regularly so that you can spend time with them and talk about their lives. While they may not come to you for guidance as much as they used to, your relationship is still important, and you can still be a huge influence.

You’ve probably seen this in parenting books many times before, but it’s worth repeating—communication is key. When you are able to have a conversation about your teen’s life, be sure to let them speak and focus on listening, rather than immediately trying to solve their problems for them. As parents, letting your child know that their feelings are valid and heard can go a long towards creating a healthy relationship.

Even though your kids are starting to become more independent when they’re teenagers, family time will still be important. Parents can find new ways of including their teens in activities. Hobbies of yours that your kids may not have been interested in when they were younger could be more engaging for them as teens.

How do you raise a good teenager?

As parents, there are many things you can do to support your teens. For many families, communication is paramount when it comes to parenting teenagers. Even though your child might not seek out your advice as often as they used to, what you say will still have a big influence on them. As your kids go through adolescence, take every chance you get to discuss what’s going on in their lives. Kids these days have a lot to contend with, so a chat with their parents may be just what they need.

It is, of course, going to be necessary to set out some new rules as your kids mature into young adults and your relationship starts to change. This could mean a later curfew, allowing them to have more screen time, and letting them spend more time with fellow students and other peers. While parents will likely want to give their teens more leniency in some areas, it’s good to maintain sensible rules and healthy boundaries.

Another way for parents to raise good teens is by setting a good example through their behavior. Parents who practice healthy habits, treat their kids with respect, communicate effectively, and do other things to model good behavior are setting a good example for their kids. If kids notice that their parents angrily respond to difficult situations or shut down instead of talking things through, they can be more apt to display that type of behavior themselves. Instead of just telling their kids what to do, parents can show them what to do.