Why rest is best.
Why rest is best.
Downtime helps relieve stress and anxiety:
Since 2010, we’ve seen a surge in rates of childhood anxiety, depression, and self harm. There are several contributing factors to this surge, but the research is clear. Downtime and rest boost mental health and help to relieve anxiety.
That feeling we have in our gut when we are overwhelmed? Our kids get that too. But, they aren’t as equipped to put that feeling into words. If you have a child that appears stressed and anxious, consider ways to prioritize some downtime in their daily routine.
Downtime boosts emotional regulation:
Emotional regulation is the awareness and understanding of one’s own emotions and the ability to exert control over them. Without the ability to regulate our emotions, we have difficulty functioning in our everyday life. Emotional regulation skills are critical to learning, developing and maintaining positive relationships, and mental health. Without rest and downtime, we place ourselves and our children in a position where developing and using emotional regulation skills becomes difficult, if not impossible.
Downtime can lead to healthy boredom and promote creativity:
“I’m bored,” can be a hard thing for parents and caregivers to hear and feel within themselves. Our society’s focus is on production and consumption and boredom does not fit well within those values. But, boredom is a key component to creativity. How do we truly discover our passions? By getting bored enough to try something new. Sitting with boredom can be hard, but it can also be an opportunity to flex our creative, innovative, and imagination muscles.
Downtime allows us to process and synthesize our learning:
It seems counterintuitive, but our brains process new learning best when we take a step away from the material and mentally rest. Downtime even helps strengthen the formation of new memories. The saying, “all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” could be better phrased as, “all work and no play or rest makes learning harder for Jack.”
School days can be long. To help your child really process and synthesize their new learning, allow some time for rest in their schedule.
Let’s prioritize play, downtime, and rest this school year.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of overscheduling ourselves and our children when opportunities abound! But, true rest, downtime, and play have too much of a positive impact for us to ignore their benefits. Make room for them in your schedule this year.
How to fall in love with messy play
Having trouble with messy play? We get it. It wasn’t always our favorite either. Here’s how we got comfortable with messy play.
Allowing children to engage in messy play is important because it has many benefits including strengthening immune systems, aiding in sensory development, lowering stress, and providing protection against allergies and asthma.
Unfortunately, adults can be uncomfortable with messy play and often steer children away from it….
Because messy play is MESSY.
Even playworkers can struggle with messy play. Why?
Kids clothes and shoes get dirty
Some children don’t want to get messy
Many adults are uncomfortable with mud and dirt
The cleanup can be a challenge
Confession, at first I didn’t enjoy dirty, muddy, messy play. I’m the playworker that wears socks with Birkenstocks to keep dirt off my feet. But, I overcame my aversion to dirt and general discomfort with messy play. Here’s how:
Step 1: Be prepared and dress for mess.
If you have a block around messy play, preparation is key.
Dress for mess means a child wears old clothes or no clothes! A big roadblock to messy play for adults often revolves around ruined clothing. Clothing can be expensive! It’s helpful to have an outfit that can exclusively be designated as play clothes. Shoes that can easily be washed and even a bathing suit are simple ways to dress for messy play. And, if you are in a space where no clothing at all is acceptable, go for it!
Dress for mess not only applies to a child’s clothing, but the play space too! That’s why we love the outdoors for messy play. A space that can easily be hosed down is ideal. If not, a shower curtain and/or newspaper can provide great surface coverage. Better yet, take the messy play to a park or beach.
Step 2: Take baby steps.
You don’t have to immediately jump in a massive mud bath. Start slowly. If you as an adult are uncomfortable with messy play, it’s time to get comfortable. Children will follow your lead. Set the example that messy play is okay by playing messy yourself. Do this by starting small. Prepare a space and finger paint, play with playdoh or kinetic sand. If you have a child that doesn’t enjoy messy pay it is especially important for them to see you getting messy. Meet your child where they are right now. If your child has an aversion to mud, don’t encourage them to jump into the nearest mud puddle. Start simply. Make a mud pie. They can even use utensils that will keep their hands fairly clean. Be ready with wipes. Children and adults are more willing to get messy if they know they can clean up immediately.
Step 3: Coordinate a messy play playdate!
Hard things are always easier with friends. Adults help set the example that messy play is okay and so do peers! Get together with another family, find a dirt pile, gather paints, make oobleck, and make a MESS. Better yet, attend a popup. We do all the cleanup for you!
I wear socks with Birkenstocks. I understand the hesitancy with messy play. As a playworker, I have learned that messy play is not only developmentally important but it can be fun if you are prepared.
The problem with saying, “be careful”
I’m going to give you three ways to stop saying, “be careful.”
#1. Make observations, not judgements.
Instead of telling my child to “be careful,” on the playground I could have provided an observation and asked some questions. I could have said, “I see you are climbing to the top of the slide. That’s about 10 feet from the ground. What’s your plan?” This lets my child know that I trust them and that consideration needs to be taken before they move forward.
1. Limit your comments to observations only. Imagine that the risky action is being recorded without sound. Your job is to narrate by only reporting what you see.
2. Limit your use of adjectives and other qualifying words.
#2. Get comfortable with taking risks yourself.
The more risks you take, the more comfortable with risk you become. Children learn from the adults in their lives. If they see you taking a healthy risk they will feel more confident taking risks themselves.
1. Make your risk taking obvious. If you don’t draw attention to it, your children may not notice.
2. Talk about what scares you and how you overcome fear.
3. Reflect. After taking a risk, talk about what happened. Were you successful? Talk about why. Did you fail? Talk about why.
Caregivers are the ultimate role model for children. Being around adults who take healthy risks and talk about them empowers children to try things for themselves. It is especially important for children to see us take a risk and fail. Why? Did you know the brain learns best from mistakes? Mistakes and failures allow us to grow and learn. So, take a risk and fail often. Show the children in your life that failure is actually a GOOD thing. The more they understand this, the more comfortable they will become with taking risks themselves and trying new things.
#3. Only go to “yes” play spaces.
Choose a playground or play area where the risk matches your comfort level. Make it a “yes” space where both you and your child know that they are fully free to explore.
1. If you go to a playground where there is one piece of equipment you want your child to stay away from, stop going to that playground.
2. Turn areas of your home into “yes” spaces. This could be a cabinet in your kitchen with utensils and pots and pans just for your child to use. This could be a swing or slide in the yard that children can navigate alone. It doesn’t need to be much. It just needs to be an area that is fully theirs.
2. Plan ahead and know before you go. Discuss and set boundaries that you and your child are comfortable with before you head out to play. If you know you are going to a space where a certain area is off limits, talk about that before you get there. Explain to your child why you feel the way you do. Help them understand that your job is to let them challenge themselves while keeping them safe.
3. Turn areas of your home into “yes” spaces. This could be a cabinet in your kitchen with utensils and pots and pans just for your child to use. This could be a swing or slide in the yard that children can navigate alone. It doesn’t need to be much. It just needs to be an area that is fully theirs.
Children need freedom and autonomy. The more our children experience our trust in them, the more comfortable they will be with risk taking and potential failure. Having specific spaces where they know they have the freedom to make their own decisions that the adults are comfortable with, will provide them with the autonomy they need to take a risk, fail or succeed, and learn!
Telling children to “be careful” is a natural response when we see a child taking a risk we may not be comfortable with. But, we can respond to our fear in ways that demonstrate our trust in children and give them useful information. It’s not easy to break the “be careful” habit, but the benefits of risky play are worth it!
Let’s make a goal to not have goals for everything
In order for play to be considered play, it is not driven by a final outcome or goal.
Play is all about the process and never about achieving a final product. Especially a final product that is expected by an adult. If you’ve been hanging out with us for a while, you know that we talk a lot about the benefits of play. What would happen if we just focused on those? If we set an intention that for every popup event we plan for children to demonstrate their literacy development, how would that feel? Children, you must use this chalk to practice writing your letters! Use these blocks to make the letter “H.” I don’t enjoy having to meet goals during my play time, particularly goals that are set FOR me…do you?
The thing about play is that when we allow it to just be what it is, so many amazing things happen. We see problem solving, we see critical thinking, we see collaboration and teamwork. Sometimes, more gets achieved by not having a goal or specific outcome in mind and allowing a thing to naturally unfold.
Where else, besides play, might this be true?
What if we were less outcomes driven with ourselves and our children? What if we focused on the process of unfolding instead of a final, finished product? What if we let go and let ourselves just be? Our kids?
We are not arguing that goals aren’t meaningful. They help motivate us to, like Jame Clear says, be the kind of people we want to be. They can give us direction and purpose. But, our culture is driven by outcomes. We feel it and our children feel it too. Outcomes are a good thing to focus on for certain activities. But, not everything needs to be driven by goals and measurable outcomes. Some things, like play, only work if the focus is on the process and not the final product. The trick is in the discerning.
What if we set a goal in the new year to allow for more being and less doing? What if we set a goal for more play?
The Rooted in Play Empower Hour
Parents, educators, grandparents, caretakers, and anyone who loves children and takes an active part in their life wants to do what is best for them. And, many of us have been told that what is best for children is academic rigor, achievement, and excellent test scores. We’ve been told that what is best for children is cultivating skills that give them an edge on their college applications and make them more employable. We’ve been told that what is best for children is keeping them safe from risk and failure. But, is it?
Unfortunately, when it comes to education, parents aren’t always given complete information. Did you know that there is very little evidence to support academic mastery in the early years (ages 4, 5, 6)? Did you know that there is very little evidence to support homework? Did you know there is very little evidence to support computer programs in an academic setting? And yet, all this focus on academic success has edged out the one activity that the research unequivocally shows is absolutely essential for a child’s well being, happiness, independence, physical, cognitive, social, and emotional development. And that activity is play.
How do you make time for play during a busy day where every hour seems to be accounted for? Good question. We are busy moms and we understand. We know the struggle it can be to get the kids outside and engaged. What works for us can be boiled down to four easy steps. Ready?
First, you commit to making play a priority instead of an afterthought.
Second, you incorporate play into the daily family routine.
Third, you prepare the play space or environment for self-directed play (this sounds way more complicated than it is).
Join the Rooted in Play Empower Hour
Let’s dig in to each of these steps a bit more. Making the commitment to prioritize play is simple. The tricky part is acting on that commitment. As playworkers, we recognize the importance of play. But, even playworkers can struggle with making the commitment to play each and every day. When developing a new habit, it is helpful to have some accountability. Tell people your goals. Find a community of folks with similar values. Set yourself up for success.
Next, “just do it.” Start today and carve out an hour each day for the children to go outside to play. Don’t have an hour? Do what you can. Go to the playground, the backyard, the porch, the balcony, an empty parking lot…wherever! Kids can and do play anywhere when given the opportunity and some time. Experiencing resistance? It happens. But, if you stay committed, the children will begin to understand that, “play is just something we do.” You can use those exact words.
Third, prepare the environment for play. This can be as simple as thinking about where your children will play. Is it safe enough for them to play there unsupervised? Would you want to spend time there? Is there something for them to do there? “To do” doesn’t necessarily mean toys. It can be, but it could also be loose parts like boxes, chalk, paintbrushes, art supplies, and old sheets. It could be bikes, skates, or scooters. It could be dress-up clothes. It could be a swing, a tree, a dirt pile. Open-ended items (and places) that can be used in a variety of ways are best.
Lastly, join the Rooted in Play Empower Hour and find your fellow play people. What is the Rooted in Play Empower Hour? It started as a 30-day challenge to get children outside, participating in free play for one hour each day. We asked families and educators to take pictures of their kids outside and post to social media using the #rootedinplayempowerhour. The objective of this challenge was not only to promote an hour of free play a day but to build a community of people to inspire, support, and encourage each other around play and its importance. But, why limit this challenge to 30 days? We want play to happen 365 days a year. So, let’s do it. Let’s commit to a minimum of 365 hours of child-led play this year. Let’s grow this community and movement together. Will you join us?