Child does not hear - 12 strong advice! Child rearing online help

Extremely important advice on what you can do if your child does not hear and mistakes that you absolutely must avoid.

"How many times do I have to say. “Such or similar sentences are commonplace at home? Your child doesn’t hear and keeps dancing around on your nose? You can do this so that your child listens to you.

Many if not almost all parents are familiar with this scenario and react very annoyed.

But often it is just little things that need to be considered so that your child listens to you.

Let’s start with the tips:

Advice # 1

Let’s start with the positive aspect if your child doesn’t hear and dances around on your nose. You think what should be positive about it ?! I explain it to you.

Your child accepts you as a mother and can “drop” with you.

It can be the way it feels and misbehave. What if you e.g. when visiting relatives you are probably not. Your child knows my mom loves me anyway, even if I misbehave. It’s like a sign of trust.

Try changing the view from "it doesn’t respect you" to "it takes me as a mother and can express its feelings with me".

Advice # 2

Is it also the case with you that you call out throughout the apartment, such as: "Please brush your teeth" or "Put on your shoes" and nothing will happen?

Especially when it is supposed to be quick and your little one is junk or is still playing, it is very annoying.

This is because you are not present enough for him or her. In such a moment, children are immersed in their own game or painting world. If someone calls then that goes down quickly.

Therefore: Be present by going directly, looking into the child’s eyes, preferably at eye level and saying exactly what to do. So it will notice that it is taken seriously and that you deal with it.

Advice # 3

"If you don’t eat your plate empty, there will be no ice cream afterwards!"

"If you don’t behave, we won’t go to Grandma afterwards!"

And afterwards there is an ice cream or the trip to Grandma?

If that happens every now and then, your threats will lose any effect. So your child listens less and less to you.

What it learns from it is: "I can still go on, mom says that."

Even if you only make an exception every now and then, your child will remember this and keep trying to tease out an exception.

Advice # 4

Are you rather unsure or do you get things straight to the point?

Children notice immediately if you are unsure. So it’s important how you talk. If you are unsure and your child does not like the content of your statement, then it knows that it has a chance to change that. This opportunity will of course also be used.

"I think maybe you could tidy up your room again a little …"

Unclear words like: maybe, sometimes, something, could, should, a little bit, don’t seem serious enough.

Advice # 5

Try not to say the word "not". Sentences that you say and that contain a “not” quickly go under.

"Use the fork" is a lot stronger than: "Don’t eat like a baby".

Advice # 6

"How many times do I have to tell you?"

You keep repeating yourself and your child does something else anyway?

If there are immediate consequences follow. So your child will notice directly that it did something "wrong". If you punish it with something that occurs much later or even the next day, it cannot find any connection with the wrong behavior and becomes angry with you because you have suddenly forbidden or deleted something from nowhere. The child thus lacks the “palpable” connection between what he made wrong and the sequence.

Advice # 7

Kids often hear that they did something wrong or that their behavior was inappropriate.

"You are lazy", "You are messy", "You are doing everything wrong" …

These sentences are aligned directly against the child. This is how it learns that it is just lazy or messy, or that it does everything wrong. And if it keeps hearing that, it will believe it for a lifetime.

Therefore, say: "I am annoyed that you act like this (leaves your room messy / does your homework so hectic)."

What is said is directed against behavior and not against the child.

It’s incredible important to separate that. This way your child knows that it can change behavior. If you say: "You are lazy!", It is a statement that the child adopts as a personality trait.

Definitely statements refrain from how:

You are bad at arithmetic / thinking / tidying up / cycling …

Says your son or daughter says when he or she grows up: "I have never been able to calculate well", or: "I can’t keep my apartment so clean because I’m messy. That was the case before. ”

Advice # 8

Introduce a reward system and rules.

Rewards have a very different motivation to do something than punishments. Your child will be happy to clear out the dishwasher, as they know that they are one step closer to the new toy or a visit to the amusement park. Again, it is important to make the reward immediately visible or noticeable. For example, in the form of small asterisks that it should collect to reach the goal.

You can find out how to set up rules in a psychologically sensible manner or introduce a reward system here.

Advice # 9

Speak in the child’s language. When it is even smaller, they love to be picked up in "their world".

For example, take your favorite teddy bear, hold it in front of your face and speak

in a deep, bearish voice: "I think your teeth are sooo beautiful. I hope you clean them every day so that they stay so beautiful. "

or call from the bathroom in a high voice,

"Caution! Caution! here speaks the toothbrush! I want to be finally taken in hand! "

Be creative when designing your demands.

Advice # 10

Encouragement instead of gripe

It is often a narrow grade whether a child likes to do something or not. Especially when it comes to school matters like homework or memorizing poems, many parents complain when things are not going so well.

Complaining becomes very unmotivating to the child. It suddenly loses the desire for homework or other things. Because this gives it negative feelings such as frustration or hatred for the task or in the worst case for yourself. It happens that it develops beliefs that it is "too stupid" or something similar.

As a mom or dad, try to be patient and motivate the child. For example, you can say sentences like:

"Even if there are still a few mistakes, you will get better every time!"

"You are just something from the practice, that comes with training."

"I think it’s great that you stay so stubborn. If you continue like this, you will have made it right away and can be proud of yourself! ”

It is not always easy to be patient. But it is definitely the most motivating and successful way.

Advice # 11

Strengthen your child consciously.

What do I mean by that?? children first learn to understand the world. They do that with their current beliefs. Beliefs are like glasses through which you see the world. The glasses of the glasses only let through those things that the child believes or is taught.

So if the child is taught convictions such as: life is hard / unjust / no pony farm and so on, it will see everything around it. In this example, everything that is simple will be hidden or considered untrue. Say it will never be easy search, but often make life difficult for yourself.

It makes more sense to give children encouraging beliefs on the way.

You can do anything if you want and stay tuned.

There’s no problem. These are challenges where you go out more than you go in.

You are valuable.

Your health is very important. Take care.

Advice # 12

Pay 100% attention to your child when you talk to him.

Attention is a sign of respect and love. You signal to your child (and also adults) that it is important to you and loved. Attention is not just a basic need of every person, but like a key to the other person.

What do I mean by attention??

Focus fully on your child. Especially in conversations. Listen carefully and let it finish. Try to hide everything around it for the moment and be completely with your child. Of course only if the external circumstances allow it.

Too often we only communicate halfway with others. We listen roughly, understand it and say something about it. The next time you are talking, try to focus only on the person opposite you and watch what happens.

If you pay attention to these points, your child will certainly not only listen to you more, but the family life will be much more pleasant and loving. Your child will develop a strong personality and have a great life ahead of them.

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