Prevention of violence: non-violent communication with children

Reading time: 2 minutes The most important basic rule for violence prevention is to listen if you want to experience non-violent communication with children or adolescents. Children or teenagers see the world through different eyes, in order to understand it, it is important to listen carefully. Take the feelings of children and young people seriously. Every interlocutor should Law have to speak without interruptions. If you stick to it, misunderstandings can be resolved and all conflicts can be resolved without entering into an argument.

Prevention of violence: Non-violent communication with children

Prevention of violence through non-violent communication: what are good conversations with children?

Unfortunately there is no magic formula for "good" conversations with children. The most important thing is that the interlocutors feel comfortable. Each of the two parties should be able to clarify their goals without being disturbed. This means that the conversation partners should respect each other, regardless of the content of the conversation. The child should be able to freely express his or her opinion and feelings without being guided by the adult.

The child should feel the warmth, respect and interest of the adult. In order to create optimal conversation conditions, some “communication rules” should be observed.

Be on an equal footing
Look at the child while talking
Try to create a relaxed atmosphere, the more comfortable the child feels, the more open it will be to you
Listening is essential to non-violent communication
Let the other one finish
If they notice that the child is no longer at work, then they break off the conversation. Explain to your child that the conversation will continue later
After a long conflictful discussion, care must be taken, that the child can find himself again.

Prevention of violence: Non-violent communication

Nonviolent communication according to Marshal B. Rosenberg is divided into two metaphors:

This concept is specifically designed for primary school students in a clear and understandable way.

What is wolf language??

The wolf stands for difficult communication. He appears polite and diplomatic on the outside, sometimes emotional, aggressive and hurtful. He doesn’t always convey his emotions to the outside, but likes to hide them. The wolf language judges what is good or bad, the responsibility is often passed on to other people. Here it is judged according to a strict pattern, good things are rewarded and bad things are punished. Marshall B. Rosenberg calls our "normal" tone of the wolf.

Some common wording of the wolf language are:

Analysis: "if you had considered that …"
Criticism: "that’s wrong, that’s how you do it …"
Interpretations: "You do this because …"
Ratings: "you are smart, lazy, right, wrong …"
Penalties: "if you don’t immediately … then …"
Rules and norms
Feel right

What is giraffe language??

A pleasant form of communication is the giraffe language, which tries not to arouse fears and uncertainties. Empathy and an attentive handling of yourself and the environment are the efforts of the giraffe language. A giraffe shows how she feels, she is not afraid of feelings. It would never hurt others and assumes that everyone takes responsibility for their actions. Hearing with giraffe ears means perceiving each other’s feelings, needs and desires.

Giraffe language is the language of the heart, attention is paid to feelings, it separates observation and evaluation, it asks and does not ask.

Both strategies mix in everyday life, since it is very difficult to communicate in one way only.

Take a look behind the scenes

Nonviolent communication means taking a look at the hidden, human feelings. Leaving the usual threatening gestures and protective armor behind and showing respect to the other conversation partner.

A Persian saying goes: "There is a place beyond right and wrong, that’s where we meet." Nonviolent communication is an approach to dealing with each other in a trusting and compassionate way. Stop the constant struggle to exchange hurtful arguments and allegations.

Listening, getting to know the motives and basic needs of your counterpart, so that conflicts can be resolved non-violently. If children have the feeling of being respected, open up to parents and their environment.

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