Klaus Mertes has received the prize of the Herbert Haag Foundation. The Jesuit priest made public one of the biggest cases of abuse in the Catholic Church. In an interview, he talks about how the ie changed him.
CBA: Father Mertes, what does the award you have just received mean to you??
Mertes: The award means for me a strengthening on a long way. It is a strengthening from the space of the Church, from the "own people" so to speak. It's good. I am also a bit ashamed because I know that it was not me who started the disclosure work, but the victims. And because I also know that without the support of many confreres and colleagues in our schools, I would not have persevered through the efforts of the last few years.
CBA: The Herbert Haag Foundation honors people who have exposed themselves through courageous action. In 2010, in a letter to former Jesuit students in Berlin, you addressed the ie of sexual abuse by two priests who worked as teachers and pastors. Did it take courage?
Mertes: I did not need courage for that. It was very clear that I had to respond to what I had heard. And I also wanted it. But I had no idea what consequences this would have beyond my small circle of vision.
CBA: You say that abuse of power and sexualized violence shake the foundations of church and society. Why is this so?
Mertes: Abuse usually has two aspects: One is the abuse of the individual perpetrator, and the other is the role of the institution and the social environment in which this violence takes place. When sexualized violence is uncovered, a lot of unpleasant things come to light: even church personnel managers who knew about things and simply transferred perpetrators. People who have not interpreted symptoms correctly. And in many places there is still an insufficiently developed awareness of injustice, especially for this aspect of abuse.
CBA: Where do you see progress in dealing with the ie?
Mertes: I'm currently coaching a young priest who heard at his parish's altar boy camp that leaders had been playing disgusting nude games with teenagers. After the case was solved, the question of aftercare for victims immediately arose. And that's what we learned from 2010: Don't just expose and punish the perpetrators, but ask: How did the children experience this? How do we inform parents??
In German-speaking countries, there is a higher awareness in this regard in church schools. Meanwhile, state-run homes are looking to us for advice. Or: Today, as teachers at school, we are talking intensively about the question of whether the closeness-distance ratio is still right when teachers are friends with students on Facebook. We also look at alcohol abuse among young people much more carefully than we used to, because it is often associated with humiliating rites and violence. Before 2010, these would not have been ies that would concern a school or boarding school as seriously as they do today.
CBA: Four years ago the abuse debate started to roll. There is still a strange speechlessness among Catholic church leaders – where does it come from?
Mertes: The shock of the beginning is fading. But there will be more shocks to come. The leap out of speechlessness does not happen without pain – this also always leads to speechlessness, change of self-image. Admitting that you looked the other way or didn't interpret things correctly – that's not easy. Suddenly you are no longer on the victim's side, but you are on the other side. These are spiritual processes that take time, especially since there is often a real powerlessness to speak that can be stronger than the individual's own will. There is always something of grace in the breaking of silence – there is something coming at us from God.
CBA: How have the last few years changed you??
Mertes: It was not easy to deal with and live with the stories of the victims I heard, until today. I also had to cope with my own loss of homeland. The image I had of the church had been deeply shaken. I also ask myself: How can I find new trust in certain church persons and structures?? The answer was, and in some cases still is: It definitely can't be done anymore. I had to accept this loss of confidence.
CBA: Why are you still Catholic despite all your negative experiences??
Mertes: I have drawn strength from new ies. I could no longer define my Catholicism through the experience of a happy Catholic childhood. To love the church again, I went in search of positive church experiences all over again. I also discovered the church of victims – that of people who have experienced violence in the church. People who at the same time do not let their church membership be taken away from them and find strength in faith. I have received an incredible wealth of approval from the Church space. I realized: I'm not alone!
By the way, I felt the same way when I read Pope Francis' letter "Evangelii Gaudium". I sense a closeness that surprises me myself. In any case, without the church I would not have this wealth of people in my life. God reveals himself to me above all through people. This basic trust remains.
The interview was conducted by Vera Ruttimann.