As early as 1965, the German songwriter Franz Josef Degenhardt with the Song "Don’t play with the dirty children" the desperate search for the right friends for your own children on the educational agenda. What ironically targeted the general German bourgeoisie at the time is now an expression of fear of false or bad influences on the character development of the offspring. Parents are still trying to actively shape their children’s circle of friends according to their interests and values. Friendships with children who do not grow up according to the same educational knitting pattern are not tolerated or only with a heavy heart. But this request often backfires. Children want to build their own circle of friends and parents just need to be patient and trust in their own children.
Learn friendship through disappointment
The first child friendships usually do not arise through mutual character recognition or through affection. The focus is rather on the entertainment value and the special features of the other child when it comes to choosing the playmates with whom the child would like to meet every day. Children only learn true friendship over time. If you suddenly realize that the supposedly great friend never helps you or substitutes for other children as you please in everyday play, you will notice what this child really brings you; or does not bring. This experience is painful, but this is the only way to learn the value of friendship.
Have patience and trust
Parents often tend to discourage children from supposed friends in the run-up to friendship, because they believe that their life experience means that they can assess the character of this friend. But your own children do not have this experience and cannot believe that this friend is not good for you. The more the parents intervene, the more rigid and stubborn they cling to the friend. Nothing helps here, except for the already mentioned reasonable collecting of your own experience. Here parents simply have to trust the character’s strength of your own Have children. Children can recognize true friendships themselves.
Watch and only intervene in an emergency
Of course, parents have to keep an eye on their children’s circle of friends. Often, their own children also lack knowledge about the social background of their friends. Care must be taken, especially when young friends with a criminal background, extreme political opinions or addiction problems enter the life of children. But no ban helps here either. An open and equal discussion with the child about the problematic friend can lead to the awareness and awareness of the own child. Friendship doesn’t have to suffer.
About the author of game not with the grubby kids
Bernhard Rupieper (Born 1970) is married and has two sons (born 05 and 08) and one daughter (Born 10). The family, as well as the house and garden, take up most of his free time.
Additional items from Bernhard Rupieper
Game not with the dirty children was written on September 8th, 2016 and published under the categories Education.
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